IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Art
Use synonyms
 should be considered as essential as other subjects when regarding a child’s development,
therefore
Linking Words
, it must be taught in high school.
This
Linking Words
 writer believes that
art
Use synonyms
 could play an important role in improving one’s creativity and learning
art
Use synonyms
 can be a leisure activity to relieve
stress
Use synonyms
 which could be harmful to a child’s mental growth. The most obvious effect
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 is enhancing a child’s imagination. Since
art
Use synonyms
 could have rules or not at all,
learner
Add an article
the learner
a learner
show examples
 could do what they want and express their thoughts or even share them, as these activities continue their imagination
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 better which could have a huge impact on creativity and
logical
Correct article usage
the logical
show examples
 mind. Eventually, the more
art
Use synonyms
 classes they take the more creative they are.
For instance
Linking Words
, Leonardo Da Vinci used
art
Use synonyms
 to motivate his inventions and make him a well-known artist and scientist. Another consideration that must be pointed out is how
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxing
show examples
 is
art
Use synonyms
 and its ability to relieve
stress
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 the freedom of
art
Use synonyms
, students can show their feelings through paintings and drawings,
this
Linking Words
 way their
stress
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 decrease and
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 know more about them.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 the
stress
Use synonyms
 in each
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 their mental problems.
For example
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 can be seen as a hobby that students can do to achieve
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
 and relaxation. In conclusion,
art
Use synonyms
 should be taught at school
due to
Linking Words
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 to
imagination
Add an article
the imagination
show examples
 and mental development which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
 as essential as
other subject
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 can make improvement in one’s creativity and relieve
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stress
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure variety and complexity to enhance readability and academic tone.
task achievement
Ensure all points are equally developed and supported with relevant examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Main points are clearly stated and generally supported with examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Creativity
  • Imagination
  • Innovation
  • Emotional expression
  • Mental well-being
  • Cognitive abilities
  • Fine motor skills
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Cultural awareness
  • Empathy
  • Critical thinking
  • Observational skills
  • Compulsory
  • High school
  • Development
  • Outlet for stress
  • Global awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: