IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subject, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that
art
Use synonyms
 classes,
for
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instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
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 painting and writing, should be compulsorily taught at high
schools
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 because
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 importance is the same as other
subjects’
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subjects
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. The writer disagrees with the mentioned view and will indicate
the
Change the word
their
his
her
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 opinion in
this
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 essay. Advocates of teaching arts at high
schools
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 might emphasize some crucial benefits of
this
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 subject. First of all, students can gain a deeper understanding
in
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of
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 the culture and history as each picture reflects social changes in the past.
For instance
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,
between
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during
show examples
 the eighteenth century,
the
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apply
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Impressionism created many masterpieces with shifts in drawing and painting techniques or beauty standards. Another advantage of participating
artistic
Change preposition
in artistic
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 lessons is that
this
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 children become well-being and fully
mental-developed
Correct your spelling
mentally-developed
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. By providing the resilience and fostering the creativity and imagination.
Although
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 there are parallel advantages,
art
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 classes should be optional to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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 in at high
schools
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. The most significant reason is that more spare time is left to focus on core skills, which are more necessary to pursue higher education in some careers
such
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 as doctor.
Moreover
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,
art
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 should be individually learned as not everyone receives
equipvalent
Correct your spelling
equivalent
 advantages from
this
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 subject.
For instance
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, despite the importance
in
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of
show examples
 developing children’s
creativity
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creativity,
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 there are many other activities
such
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 as programming a robot
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 have the same, influence.
Art
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 could be crucial to whom to pursue a job in the fashion industry but with many
I.T
Correct your spelling
I.T.
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
, lessons to boost practical skills
is
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are
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 more important. In conclusion,
art
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 should be an optional subject in high
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schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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. In spite of many benefits
such
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 as enhancing cultural and historical insights or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creativity,
art
Use synonyms
 lessons are considered not as essential as core skills in some careers.

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed thoroughly and each point made is explicitly clear. For example, when arguing about the importance of subjects, you could compare and contrast them more strongly.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and depth of your ideas. Ensure that each point is elaborated sufficiently to avoid ambiguity or lack of depth in your arguments.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more diverse examples. This gives your arguments more weight and contextual background, making them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a coherent structure. Each paragraph should seamlessly transition to the next with logical connections, enhancing the overall readability.
coherence cohesion
Include and elaborate on all necessary components to clearly develop your arguments. For instance, the benefits of art should be fully explored with deeper examples and rationales.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay begins with a clear introduction that presents the topic and your stance. This sets a solid foundation for your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay concludes effectively, summarizing your main points and restating your opinion. This helps to solidify your overall argument and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your viewpoint.
supported main points
You have included valid points in both support and opposition to the topic. This shows a balanced approach and helps to present a well-rounded argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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