Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subject, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
art
classes, for
instance
painting and writing, should be compulsorily taught at high Add the comma(s)
instance,
schools
because its
importance is the same as other Correct pronoun usage
their
subjects’
Change noun form
subjects
one
. The writer disagrees with the mentioned view and will indicate Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
opinion in Change the word
their
his
her
this
essay.
Advocates of teaching arts at high schools
might emphasize some crucial benefits of this
subject. First of all, students can gain a deeper understanding in
the culture and history as each picture reflects social changes in the past. Change preposition
of
For instance
, between
the eighteenth century, Change preposition
during
the
Impressionism created many masterpieces with shifts in drawing and painting techniques or beauty standards. Another advantage of participating Correct article usage
apply
artistic
lessons is that Change preposition
in artistic
this
help
children become well-being and fully Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
mental-developed
. By providing the resilience and fostering the creativity and imagination.
Correct your spelling
mentally-developed
Although
there are parallel advantages, art
classes should be optional to enroll
in at high Change the spelling
enrol
schools
. The most significant reason is that more spare time is left to focus on core skills, which are more necessary to pursue higher education in some careers such
as doctor. Moreover
, art
should be individually learned as not everyone receives equipvalent
advantages from Correct your spelling
equivalent
this
subject. For instance
, despite the importance in
developing children’s Change preposition
of
creativity
there are many other activities Add a comma
creativity,
such
as programming a robot can
have the same, influence. Correct pronoun usage
that can
Art
could be crucial to whom to pursue a job in the fashion industry but with many I.T
Correct your spelling
I.T.
engineer
, lessons to boost practical skills Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
is
more important.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
art
should be an optional subject in high schools
. In spite of many benefits Fix the agreement mistake
school
such
as enhancing cultural and historical insights or the
creativity, Correct article usage
apply
art
lessons are considered not as essential as core skills in some careers.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed thoroughly and each point made is explicitly clear. For example, when arguing about the importance of subjects, you could compare and contrast them more strongly.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and depth of your ideas. Ensure that each point is elaborated sufficiently to avoid ambiguity or lack of depth in your arguments.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more diverse examples. This gives your arguments more weight and contextual background, making them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a coherent structure. Each paragraph should seamlessly transition to the next with logical connections, enhancing the overall readability.
coherence cohesion
Include and elaborate on all necessary components to clearly develop your arguments. For instance, the benefits of art should be fully explored with deeper examples and rationales.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay begins with a clear introduction that presents the topic and your stance. This sets a solid foundation for your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay concludes effectively, summarizing your main points and restating your opinion. This helps to solidify your overall argument and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your viewpoint.
supported main points
You have included valid points in both support and opposition to the topic. This shows a balanced approach and helps to present a well-rounded argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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