art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are many considerations that
art
courses, where children can improve their personal development through painting and drawing, are in comparison to other subjects of equal value in high schools.
This
writer disagrees with the statement and will discuss it below. It can be recognized that
art
is unnecessary in high schools, especially for their final years.
Students
have to highly pay attention to main subjects
such
as math, physics, and chemistry.
Furthermore
, if their results in their major fields are lower than what they expected, it can affect their performance in the tests they enrol in at universities.
For example
,
students
who do not focus on their major have fewer opportunities to apply to their dream colleges.
In addition
,
art
is not compulsory for
students
to learn because it is helpless and has a negative impact on
students
' chances of going to their universities. Another point that can be considered is that studying
art
is a kind of waste of
time
. There is a wide range of people who have taken painting and drawing as their hobbies recently, and they are asked to spend too much
time
on them
due to
art
requirements. Individuals' spare
time
can be wasted on drawing,
although
they can spend it searching for more fascinating information or useful points that will help them in the future.
Moreover
, a hobby
such
as
art
can be referred to as entertainment, but it cannot help children develop in their major and does not have any practical benefits. In conclusion,
art
can have its own benefits, but children can waste their
time
and decrease their major results, which can affect their opportunity to enrol in universities and future occupations.
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from diversifying the examples and making them more specific. The example mentioned is quite generic and does not support your points as strongly as it could.
task achievement
Try to acknowledge the other side of the argument briefly even if you disagree. This can show a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Some of your ideas need clearer connections between them. Linking sentences and phrases can help make the flow of your essay more logical.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging. This can improve readability and coherence.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic, setting up the essay well.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments, reinforcing your stance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • innovatively
  • curriculum
  • mental health
  • emotional expression
  • stress relief
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • creatively
  • cultural diversity
  • artistic traditions
  • compulsory
  • well-rounded education
  • academic performance
  • concentrate
  • attention to detail
  • persevere
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