Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead f going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Mobile
technology
has indeed become an essential part of our lives and has altered the way many people
work
. It has allowed people to avoid traffic jams and
work
on a schedule suitable for them.
However
, like any other
technology
, mobile
technology
also
has its own advantages and disadvantages. One of the biggest benefits is flexibility. Nowadays, businesses allow their employees to
work
from home, which is very helpful, especially for busy parents who can now
work
and spend more time with their children. Another advantage of working from home is that the employee has the freedom to choose the location where he feels most comfortable working, which may increase productivity. Since the employee has freed up time getting to and from
work
, he has more time to
work
each day. In conclusion, we live in a modern world that has redefined how we
work
and complete our tasks thanks to the widespread use of information
technology
.
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task achievement
Your essay needs more specific examples to better illustrate your points. Including personal experiences or commonly known scenarios would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay can be improved by clearly defining separate paragraphs for introduction, supporting points, and conclusion. Use topic sentences and transitions to better organize your ideas.
task achievement
Expand your discussion of the disadvantages of mobile technology for a more balanced view. This will make your response more comprehensive.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt effectively, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of mobile technology for remote work.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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