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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the income and expenditure of Harckley Hall, a public place for hiring over the period of three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the income and expenditure of Harckley Hall, a public place for hiring over the period of three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#income #expenditure #harckley #hall #place #period #three #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given table illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Harckely Hall's earning and spending list in 3 different
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the first
year
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 was the most profitable among
others
Correct article usage
the others
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 and it reduced over the period. In terms of the source of
income
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, the revenue from
hiring
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the hiring
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 room was the main contributor factor in total
income
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 with 33.000, 34.000 and 32.000 for
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 to third
years
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 followed by
local
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the local
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 council and other bodies with
a
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apply
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around 15.000 to 22.000 in all three given
years
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.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 Cafe had the least
income
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 with just 3.000, 4.000 and 6.000 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, total
income
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 was 75.000 in
first
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the first
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year
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then
Linking Words
 it
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 to 78.000 in
year
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 2 before falling to 71.000 in
year
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 3. The same pattern
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happend
Correct your spelling
happened
 for
ependiture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
expenditures
 with 66.000, 74.000 and 71.000 for the given period
as well as
Linking Words
 profit which was 9.000 in
year
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 1 though, it
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 to 4.000 and 1.000 for
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 and third
years
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.
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, year, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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