Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for people to use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

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One of the basic human rights is
the
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apply
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access to medical care when needed, it is a
garenteed
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guaranteed
right by the
Genovee
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Genovese
convection
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Convention
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.
However
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, in the capitalist
world
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world,
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we live in today, healthcare
serveices
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services
became
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have become
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increasingly expensive. I strongly advocate that
government
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the government
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shall cover the medical expenses of all the population, though I am aware of the
obstecles
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obstacles
that
makes
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make
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this
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idea seem utopian. To
adress
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address
the shortcomings
first,
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we can dissect the current state of NHS in the
united kingdom
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United Kingdom
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as an example.
Although
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the
instiute
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institute
offers free medical services to all UK citizens, shortcomings are evident, it is
attrebuited
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attributed
to the lack of
suffecint
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sufficient
funding which is mostly composed of taxes.
This
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is reflected
on
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in
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the salaries and work environment, medical
personals
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personnel
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are
experincing
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experiencing
sever
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severe
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work loads
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workloads
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and unsatisfactory
compansation
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compensation
, which results in queueing of patients, fleeing of qualified doctors, and low quality of the offered services compared to other
private
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privately
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funded institutes, which may
aurge
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urge
purge
some people to think that increasing healthcare fees is the solution.
However
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, all these problems can be tackled by increasing the income-based taxes, to bridge the gap between the rich and the less fortunate,
thus
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enabling equality
in
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at
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all the
socity
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society
levels,
this
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can benefit the upper class too, as
reliefing
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relief of
the momentary pressures on the poor can result in better
saftey
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safety
conditions. For
instace
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instance
, in the USA, where healthcare is a private sector, there are several reported cases of robberies where the motive of the
theif
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thief
is to provide the payment of hospital bills of loved ones.
Ultimatily
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Ultimately
, offering free government-funded services allows all classes to reap the benefits of a stable living
condetion
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condition
conditions
,
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apply
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and enables citizens to feel certain that if any causality
happened
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happens
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, they will always be taken care of.
Submitted by maryamansour11 on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear perspective and contains relevant arguments. However, ensure that all your points are fully developed and supported with detailed examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is mostly well-structured, but there are instances where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to make the flow more natural.
language accuracy
There are several spelling and grammatical errors such as 'garenteed', 'Geneva', 'serveices', 'obstecles', etc. Aim to proofread your essay to minimize these small mistakes.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your stance on it, which is good for guiding the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Using the NHS as an example to illustrate your point is very effective and makes your argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is crucial for coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a good mix of arguments and examples to support your opinion, contributing well to the overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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