Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for people to use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?
One of the basic human rights is
the
access to medical care when needed, it is a Correct article usage
apply
garenteed
right by the Correct your spelling
guaranteed
Genovee
Correct your spelling
Genovese
convection
. Correct your spelling
Convention
However
, in the capitalist world
we live in today, healthcare Add a comma
world,
serveices
Correct your spelling
services
became
increasingly expensive. I strongly advocate that Wrong verb form
have become
government
shall cover the medical expenses of all the population, though I am aware of the Correct article usage
the government
obstecles
that Correct your spelling
obstacles
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
this
idea seem utopian.
To adress
the shortcomings Correct your spelling
address
first,
we can dissect the current state of NHS in the united kingdom
as an example. Correct your spelling
United Kingdom
Although
the instiute
offers free medical services to all UK citizens, shortcomings are evident, it is Correct your spelling
institute
attrebuited
to the lack of Correct your spelling
attributed
suffecint
funding which is mostly composed of taxes. Correct your spelling
sufficient
This
is reflected on
the salaries and work environment, medical Change preposition
in
personals
are Replace the word
personnel
experincing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
work loads
and unsatisfactory Correct your spelling
workloads
compansation
, which results in queueing of patients, fleeing of qualified doctors, and low quality of the offered services compared to other Correct your spelling
compensation
private
funded institutes, which may Change the adjective
privately
aurge
some people to think that increasing healthcare fees is the solution.
Correct your spelling
urge
purge
However
, all these problems can be tackled by increasing the income-based taxes, to bridge the gap between the rich and the less fortunate, thus
enabling equality in
all the Change preposition
at
socity
levels, Correct your spelling
society
this
can benefit the upper class too, as reliefing
the momentary pressures on the poor can result in better Correct your spelling
relief of
saftey
conditions. For Correct your spelling
safety
instace
, in the USA, where healthcare is a private sector, there are several reported cases of robberies where the motive of the Correct your spelling
instance
theif
is to provide the payment of hospital bills of loved ones.
Correct your spelling
thief
Ultimatily
, offering free government-funded services allows all classes to reap the benefits of a stable living Correct your spelling
Ultimately
condetion
Correct your spelling
condition
conditions
,
and enables citizens to feel certain that if any causality Remove the comma
apply
happened
, they will always be taken care of.Wrong verb form
happens
Submitted by maryamansour11 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear perspective and contains relevant arguments. However, ensure that all your points are fully developed and supported with detailed examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is mostly well-structured, but there are instances where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to make the flow more natural.
language accuracy
There are several spelling and grammatical errors such as 'garenteed', 'Geneva', 'serveices', 'obstecles', etc. Aim to proofread your essay to minimize these small mistakes.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your stance on it, which is good for guiding the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Using the NHS as an example to illustrate your point is very effective and makes your argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is crucial for coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a good mix of arguments and examples to support your opinion, contributing well to the overall coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!