Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Correct pronoun usage

apply

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modern day mobile phones have intruded childhood leading to

hours

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spent on them. The carefully crafted technology

along with

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the accelerating network connection and availability has led these kids to be hooked forever unless they are provided with necessary supervision by adults. In

this

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essay, I'll be discussing the positive and negative outcomes of excessive usage even though in my opinion the negative impacts are much higher than the positive ones. On one hand, technology allows a child's curiosity to roam around the internet to find study materials, tutorials and flashcards which could potentially enhance their learning ability.

For

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example

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example,

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YouTube platform has a lot of channels which provide tutorials free of charge.

However

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, the legitimacy of these tutorials is still under question even though

few

Correct article usage

a few

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of them might be useful.

Hence

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, it provides

convenience

Add an article

the convenience

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of finding necessary information technology making it easier to achieve their daily educational goals with minimal hassle.

On the other hand

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this

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information must be strictly monitored and supervised by adults in order to make sure that these youngsters don't get access to inappropriate information. Spending

hours

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and

hours

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staring at the screen with minimal physical activity can hinder the mood and growth of these children. Games and adult content could interfere with the brain development of kids potentially leading to aggressive and abusive behaviour. In my opinion, I would suggest limiting the usage and monitoring the device usage is an ultimate necessity that these devices bring more positive outcomes rather than being misused to waste the

hours

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spent on these devices.

Submitted by onlineconsumer on Mon May 20 2024

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task achievement

Work on providing more concrete and varied examples. Specifically, mention different scenarios rather than repeating similar examples.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow between your ideas. Use more transitions and connective words to help the reader follow your argument more easily.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that ties back to your thesis statement.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines what the essay will cover. This sets a strong foundation for your argument.

complete response

You properly identified both the positives and negatives of excessive smartphone usage among children, suggesting a balanced view before leaning towards the negatives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this?How can people research this?

Some people think that wearing uniforms fosters solidarity between staff and makes them feel part of a team. Others claim that it is better to have a dress code than a uniform. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that individuals do no protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment.Discuss both views and give your opinion.