IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#homelessness #cities #world #measures
In recent years, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 fighting against
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
 crisis across the globe.
This
 essay will discuss two main causes of homelessness including lack of economic
statbility
Correct your spelling
stability
instability
 and rise in
population
.
This
 essay will suggest two solutions to
this
 problem including effective financial management and infrastructure improvement. The major causes of homelessness mainly contribute to the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 instability and the
substatntial
Correct your spelling
substantial
 increase of
population
 across countries.
This
 is because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
as well as
 individuals do not have a proper
income
 and
as a
consequence
Add a comma
consequence,
show examples
 they find it difficult to meet their daily needs which leads to little savings.
For instance
, statistics
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that 70% of the families in Africa remain homeless
due to
 low family
income
.
In addition
, there
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been a drastic increase in the world
population
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 few decades and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 concerned authorities could hardly
implement
Verb problem
meet
show examples
 the housing needs of people.For these reasons, the issue of homelessness is being
aggaravated
Correct your spelling
aggravated
day-by-day
Correct your spelling
day by day
show examples
. All of
this
 being said, we can
reolve
Correct your spelling
resolve
solve
this
 problem by improving the infrastructure and effectively managing the finances. The
governments
Capitalize word
Governments
show examples
 should
collaberate
Correct your spelling
collaborate
 with non-governmental organisations to establish budget-friendly homes and apartments which
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 homeless people to a great extent.
For example
, one of the big cities in India
such
 as Cochin built houses
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
low-cost
Correct your spelling
low cost
show examples
 and handed
over
Correct pronoun usage
them over
show examples
 to eligible families which reduced that city's housing challenge to certain degrees.
Moreover
, individuals should be educated to wisely manage their
income
 so that they can reserve their earnings for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
Thus
, it is possible to eradicate the most challenging crisis in today's world and secure the citizens of each nation. In conclusion, no one could deny the fact that
scarcity
Correct article usage
the scarcity
show examples
 of homes poses a huge threat to nations worldwide because of poor financial management and
population
 density.
However
, these can be eliminated by effective
income
 management and infrastructure improvement, provided governing bodies support the cause.
Submitted by gloriasherin on

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Task Achievement
The essay directly addresses the task by identifying two main causes of homelessness and suggesting two solutions. However, the relevance and completeness of these ideas can be improved.
Task Achievement
While the ideas presented in the essay are clear, they can benefit from deeper analysis and more specific examples. Adding more concrete evidence or real-world cases would strengthen the arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay can improve in providing better logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs. More transitional devices can make the essay flow more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective but can be made more compelling by refining the language and making a stronger final statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to correct the spelling mistakes like 'statbility' and 'substatntial'. Improve grammatical accuracy for a higher score.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which outlines the main points and wraps up the discussion effectively.
Clarity of Ideas
The central argument is generally clear and easy to understand, making it accessible to the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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