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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, people prefer buying new items rather than repairing the damaged ones. What are the causes of this change ? what are its effects?

#people #items #ones #change #effects
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It is noticeable that people tend not to have broken items repaired and they would prefer to buy new things
instead
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. The causes for
such
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behavior
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behaviour
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 could be
due to
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 the availability of different products and the reduction in
price
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the price
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 of goods, making it more appealing to replace damaged things
instead
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 of having them fixed. Convenient as it may seem,
this
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 trend will have
negative
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a negative
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 impact on the environment, as it creates more
trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
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 when people keep discarding unwanted possessions. Nowadays, various companies are competing with each other by
offereing
Correct your spelling
offering
 different designs and adding more functions
into
Change preposition
to
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 their products continuously .
For example
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, Apple launches new devices every year, nudging iFan to keep buying
brand new
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brand-new
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 phones.
Consequently
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, people are fed with the idea of owning new things, and fixing the broken ones eventually becomes unfashionable.
Additionally
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, with the advances in technology, manufacturing
cost
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costs
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been reduced significantly, especially for items in
fashion
Correct article usage
the fashion
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 category or
housewhold
Correct your spelling
household
 appliances.
This
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 has reduced the prices of buying brand new to the point that repairing services may seem more expensive. To illustrate,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 price for an unboxed microwave oven would be around 10 to 15 US Dollars,
while
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 the fee charged for having an oven repaired could easily reach 20 US Dollars.
Thus
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, it would discourage owners from employing the repair services. One of the most prominent disadvantages the buying new mindset may bring is that the environment will be negatively affected. More
trashes mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash means
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 more unfavourable materials containing nylon, plastic, and toxic chemical substances are being released into nature, polluting our soils, water and air. The great burden of trash handling will exhaust our environmental resources and will exacerbate the current situation of climate change. In conclusion, consumers are tempted by the low price and the wide availability of different
products
Change the noun form
product
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 types, making them more likely to buy brand news when the old ones are unusable. If the trend continues, the environment
willd
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will
 be
severly
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severely
 affected.
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on

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spelling
Try to avoid small typing errors or typos, such as 'trashes' instead of 'trash' and 'willd' instead of 'will'.
coherence
Improve the variety of sentence structures and use of complex sentences to reach a higher score in coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete and well-rounded response to both parts of the task.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, framing the topic and the essay's main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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