IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

If you have 1 hour of free time, do you choose to read or exercise?

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Nowadays as an
employee
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employee,
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 we don’t have much
time
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 to do activities
such
Linking Words
 as reading or
exercise
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 . Both of these activities have benefits for you. Reading a
book
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 gives you more information and new knowledge. Exercising helps you to lose weight and get a firm body. If I have 1
hour
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 of free
time
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 , I will read
books
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 because of
these
Correct determiner usage
the
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 following reasons. Reading helps me to learn more. I can apply the knowledge to my job. The
books
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 that I want to read in my free
time
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 are psychological
books
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 and
novel
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books
Use synonyms
. A psychological
book
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 helps me to understand people in my workplace. A
novel
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book
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 makes me enjoy my free
time
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. I love to read novels about detectives because the story is very exciting. My
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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novel
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 is The Davinci Code by Dan Brown.
This
Linking Words
book
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 story about finding the culprit and the secret from history. But sometimes 1
hour
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 of free
time
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 is not enough to read. Another Reason that I prefer to read more than
exercise
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 is it helps me to focus on the story and have
time
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 for myself
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 me feel happy Exercising is an activity that helps people to be healthy and get a firm body. But I think 1
hour
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 of free
time
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 is too long to
exercise
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. I cannot refuse that I am a lazy girl to
exercise
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 because
this
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 activity makes me fatigued and sweaty. After exercising I take a break for too long. But I think in the future if I gain more weight , I will
exercise
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 to lose weight.
To sum up
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, I prefer to read
books
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 more than
exercise
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 because the benefits of
books
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 give me
knowledge
Change the article
the knowledge
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 to discuss with my friends and understand people in my workplace.Another reason is to make me excited when I read a
novel
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.
While
Linking Words
exercise
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 is the best
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
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 to do
but
Correct word choice
apply
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I think
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exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
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 for 1
hour
Use synonyms
 of my free
time
Use synonyms
 is too long.

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear point of view on the topic and offers a complete response. However, there could be improvements in the logical flow of ideas. To increase coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
The content contains clear ideas, but there is room for better organization. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are connected more effectively.
task achievement
More specific examples and supporting details could strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could provide more insights or personal experiences related to how reading has benefited your job.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies and supports a preference for reading over exercising.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and capture the general theme of the essay well.
task achievement
Your personal touch through mentioning your favorite book adds a nice, engaging touch to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cardiovascular health
  • endorphins
  • anxiety reduction
  • cognitive health
  • intellectual growth
  • physical fitness
  • literary appreciation
  • solitary activity
  • group sports
  • stress reduction
  • focus and concentration
  • mental stimulation
  • social interaction
  • fitness enthusiast
  • lifespan
  • aging healthily
  • overall wellness
  • stress management
  • knowledge acquisition
  • exercise regimen
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