If you have 1 hour of free time, do you choose to read or exercise?
Nowadays as an
employee
we don’t have much Add a comma
employee,
time
to do activities such
as reading or exercise
. Both of these activities have benefits for you. Reading a book
gives you more information and new knowledge. Exercising helps you to lose weight and get a firm body. If I have 1 hour
of free time
, I will read books
because of these
following reasons.
Reading helps me to learn more. I can apply the knowledge to my job. The Correct determiner usage
the
books
that I want to read in my free time
are psychological books
and novel
books
. A psychological book
helps me to understand people in my workplace. A novel
book
makes me enjoy my free time
. I love to read novels about detectives because the story is very exciting. My favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
novel
is The Davinci Code by Dan Brown. This
book
is the
story about finding the culprit and the secret from history. But sometimes 1 Correct article usage
a
hour
of free time
is not enough to read.
Another Reason that I prefer to read more than exercise
is it helps me to focus on the story and have time
for myself that
Correct pronoun usage
which
make
me feel happy
Exercising is an activity that helps people to be healthy and get a firm body. But I think 1 Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
hour
of free time
is too long to exercise
. I cannot refuse that I am a lazy girl to exercise
because this
activity makes me fatigued and sweaty. After exercising I take a break for too long. But I think in the future if I gain more weight , I will exercise
to lose weight.
To sum up
, I prefer to read books
more than exercise
because the benefits of books
give me knowledge
to discuss with my friends and understand people in my workplace.Another reason is to make me excited when I read a Change the article
the knowledge
novel
. While
exercise
is the best activities
to do Fix the agreement mistake
activity
but
I think Correct word choice
apply
exercise
for 1 Wrong verb form
exercising
hour
of my free time
is too long.Submitted by papica13 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear point of view on the topic and offers a complete response. However, there could be improvements in the logical flow of ideas. To increase coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
The content contains clear ideas, but there is room for better organization. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are connected more effectively.
task achievement
More specific examples and supporting details could strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could provide more insights or personal experiences related to how reading has benefited your job.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies and supports a preference for reading over exercising.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and capture the general theme of the essay well.
task achievement
Your personal touch through mentioning your favorite book adds a nice, engaging touch to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.