Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

In
this
day
and age, a plethora of
children
spend several hours on their phones.
This
essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind
this
tendency before outlining that
this
is indeed an encouraging development. There are two primary reasons
as to
Change preposition
apply
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why
children
use their smartphones
day
by
day
. One key rationale in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of
this
view is that they want to entertain themselves after a long
day
of studying. Specifically, like many adults, kids treat themselves to watching some recreational channels on YouTube, which could help them free their minds
out
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apply
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of tension. Another justification is that
children
use smart devices to chat or connect with their friends.
For instance
, mobile gaming could take the lead in their time, they forget about the timing and other work to do.
Additionally
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that
this
trend is a positive development. First and foremost, over use of smart techniques could fully equip youngsters with social skills
such
as communication skills.
This
is because social networking sites allow the young to work in groups and discuss with their friends, without the restriction of distance.
Furthermore
, watching numerous educational programs could enhance their knowledge. Take,
for example
, English videos could help
children
improve their pronunciation and gain more vocabulary, which not only fosters their ability and creativity but
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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their parents proud of them. In conclusion, there are some underlying motives behind
this
tendency and the writer of
this
essay strongly believes that
this
is a positive development.
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task achievement
Your essay presents a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both why children spend hours on smartphones and assessing whether this is a positive or negative development. To make your argument even stronger, you might consider adding more specific data or studies to back up your points.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally clear and well-organized. However, pay attention to consistency in your argument, particularly when moving between points. For instance, the shift from discussing the reasons why children use smartphones to why it is a positive development could be smoother.
task achievement
You do a great job of presenting multiple perspectives on the issue. This makes your essay more balanced and nuanced.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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