Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

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this

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day

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and age, a plethora of

children

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spend several hours on their phones.

This

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essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind

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tendency before outlining that

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is indeed an encouraging development. There are two primary reasons

as to

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apply

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why

children

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use their smartphones

day

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day

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. One key rationale in

favor

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favour

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this

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view is that they want to entertain themselves after a long

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of studying. Specifically, like many adults, kids treat themselves to watching some recreational channels on YouTube, which could help them free their minds

out

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apply

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of tension. Another justification is that

children

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use smart devices to chat or connect with their friends.

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, mobile gaming could take the lead in their time, they forget about the timing and other work to do.

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, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that

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trend is a positive development. First and foremost, over use of smart techniques could fully equip youngsters with social skills

such

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as communication skills.

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is because social networking sites allow the young to work in groups and discuss with their friends, without the restriction of distance.

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, watching numerous educational programs could enhance their knowledge. Take,

for example

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, English videos could help

children

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improve their pronunciation and gain more vocabulary, which not only fosters their ability and creativity but

also

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make

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makes

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their parents proud of them. In conclusion, there are some underlying motives behind

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tendency and the writer of

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essay strongly believes that

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is a positive development.

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task achievement

Your essay presents a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both why children spend hours on smartphones and assessing whether this is a positive or negative development. To make your argument even stronger, you might consider adding more specific data or studies to back up your points.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are generally clear and well-organized. However, pay attention to consistency in your argument, particularly when moving between points. For instance, the shift from discussing the reasons why children use smartphones to why it is a positive development could be smoother.

task achievement

You do a great job of presenting multiple perspectives on the issue. This makes your essay more balanced and nuanced.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Your opinion

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