In many countries today, people buy a range of household goods (television, mircowave, oven and rice cookers). Is it a positive or negative development?

In the modern era, most families buy a lot of household appliances for their house to help them with the housework. The writer of
this
essay argues with
this
notion that it can help
people
save a lot of
time
as well as
improve their
knowledge
in various fields. It is vital to understand that technological devices can help humans
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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make major career shifts by saving a lot of
time
. To put it simply, in the foreseeable future,
people
will spend money on buying numerous modern gadgets to make a complex and cutting-edge system
aim
Wrong verb form
aimed
show examples
for
Change preposition
at
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do
Verb problem
apply
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not
waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
show examples
time
on housework.
For instance
, nowadays, some households have a rice cooker which can cook rice automatically
instead
of spending much
time
on adjusting temperature.
In addition
, an oven can help humans with barbecuing meat without being fired. Another reason why families purchase a vast number of household appliances is how
people
can receive
knowledge
around the world from modern devices.
In other words
,
people
can research how to use the modern gadgets in a correct way.
For example
, some young children can improve their
knowledge
by watching programs on television.
Furthermore
, some older can relax and entertain themselves by listening to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music or the news on the radio. In conclusion, spending much money on technological devices
due to
their benefits of helping
people
reduce waste
time
on housework
as well as
people
gain large of
knowledge
and entertainment.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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accuracy
Try to avoid small grammatical errors like 'help humans have make...' instead, it should be 'help humans make...'. This can make your argument clearer.
support examples
Strengthen the support for your main points with more specific examples. For instance, mention specific programs children watch on TV to improve knowledge.
cohesion
To improve coherence, try using more transitional phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', or 'On the other hand' to better link your ideas.
conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, reinforcing the essay's main ideas.
coverage
The essay covers the main aspects of the topic by discussing both time-saving and educational benefits of household gadgets.

Your opinion

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