IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The floor plan shows changes made to a home during a 6-month period.

#floor #plan #changes #home #-month #period
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The blueprint illustrates the pertaining to the changes of home in 6 months. From an observational perspective, it can be seen that the home amenities have taken place with the kitchen, the living room and the meals.
Moreover
, the 2 bedrooms are untouched
while
 the bathroom has a little bit of changes. Beginning with the left part of the house, the wall that prevented the living room and the kitchen was demolished.
Then
, at the top of the blueprint, the meals were replaced with the kitchen.
Furthermore
, the meals and the living room were standardised.
Additionally
, at the entrance, the verandah was flattened. Regarding the right half of the house, the location of the 2 bedrooms remained untouched
whereas
 the robes in the 2 bedrooms were demolished.
In addition
, the bathroom seemed unchanged,
however
, most of the furniture was knocked down, and a bath and a vanity unit were converted into a shower cubicle and a toilet seat, respectively.
Then
, to the left of the bath, a sink was extended over the wall.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to write a clear introduction that precisely outlines what the diagram illustrates and a conclusion that summarizes the main changes. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Some parts of the essay lack clarity, particularly the description of changes in the bathroom. Make your explanations more detailed and clear.
task achievement
Use more specific language and measurements from the blueprint where possible. This will make your response more precise.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of phrases and ensure that one idea flows smoothly into the next. For instance, using transitional words and phrases can help in creating a better flow.
task achievement
You have successfully mentioned the major changes made to the home, covering all key areas outlined in the blueprint.
coherence cohesion
Your vocabulary is quite versatile, and you do seem to have a good grasp of a range of terms relevant to construction and home amenities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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