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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country
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The figures illustrate
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
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 of households using three electrical appliances namely
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Correct article usage
a refrigerator
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, washing machine and vacuum cleaner to do
housework
Use synonyms
 and
other
Correct word choice
apply
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shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
hours
Use synonyms
 in every home,
housework
Use synonyms
 per week
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
done from the year 1920 to 2019. The first figure says
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the households used washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 till 1940. After that,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the refrigerator
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 came into the picture which peaked in 1980 until
use
Add an article
the use
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 of
vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
show examples
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 had a steady incline over
years
Correct article usage
the years
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 but was 100% as of the
refrigerator
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Later on, 100% remain
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for both till 2019.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of washing had an increase till 1960
then
Linking Words
, reduced by 1980 and again rose to 63% by 2019. The second figure tells us from the year 1920 to 1980 there
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a significant decline from 50% to 15% in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 per week in one household
while
Linking Words
, it remains
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 till 2000.
Further
Linking Words
, from 2000 to 2019 in a span of 19 years the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 reduced by 4% to 11%. In conclusion, the first chart depicts that over a span of
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 people started using
Use synonyms
Add an article
the refrigerator
show examples
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 more often than washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 and the second chart shows us over the years the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 has remarkably decreased which signifies people are focusing less
to keep
Change preposition
on keeping
show examples
 their residence clean and presentable
Submitted by nikitanalawade681 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words refrigerator, housework, number, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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