In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent times, it has become very common business to find different ways to make the
product
new in the commercials.
This
is
due to
,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
sell
Replace the word
sales
show examples
of the
product
and
ultimate
Change the word
ultimately
show examples
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
show examples
more money out of it. I believe it to be a negative development as the people buying it are attracted to buy by not knowing
actual
Correct article usage
the actual
show examples
downsides of the item. Different
product
companies are making more finances by showing famous faces to promote and show only
upsides
Correct article usage
the upsides
show examples
of the
product
to increase the
sell
Replace the word
sales
show examples
of
product
Add an article
the product
show examples
.
This
is done to ultimately make more money out of it.
Although
, there is nothing new
of
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about
show examples
that
product
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the business is to repeat the same ads with new ideas. Like
for example
, the company just made a new advertisement with a good
fame
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famous
show examples
celebrity running across various online platforms so that,
by
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apply
show examples
watching the ad again because of
favourite
Correct article usage
the favourite
show examples
celebrity will make the fans
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
buy the thing without thinking it is actually good for them. The business of selling
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
isn’t a positive growth for our society as individuals just watch the commercial and buy the
product
. There
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
some cons of
item
Add an article
an item
the item
show examples
or it is not what a person would prefer but, negligence to
this
would cause to waste
Correct article usage
an un-necessary
show examples
un-necessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
show examples
amount of money and time to buy it.
For instance
, a child sees his favourite chocolate ad which provides you with a free toy inside but the chocolate content is very
minimum
Correct word choice
minimal
show examples
as compared to other chocolate products.
Hence
, it is crucial to shop as per our demands and after checking
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons of the item. In conclusion, people should never uplift these fancy commercials which are made for the
product
to look new and make companies benefit from it without serving their purpose
to give
Change preposition
of giving
show examples
required information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
the
product
to people.
Submitted by nikitanalawade681 on

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task achievement
Try to make your introduction more concise and better connected to your main argument. Be more specific about the reasons businesses focus on new aspects in their ads.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use topic sentences to introduce them. This will improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Try to use more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will help make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and ensure that each point made in your essay is distinct and contributes to your overall argument.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a clear perspective on the issue.
coherence cohesion
You have concluded your essay with a clear summary of your argument, which helps to reinforce your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • novelty
  • excitement
  • latest trends
  • improvements
  • advancements
  • differentiating
  • competitors
  • innovation
  • progress
  • attracting attention
  • generating curiosity
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