In many professional sports, there is an increase in the numbers of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions.
In a chunk sports of professional activities, there is a momentum in a amount of competitors using doping to enhance
the
abilities. Change the word
their
This
issue occurs due to
the desire to win in the salient match, however
the
stamp out these cheated substances from strict Correct your spelling
they
judgers
.
The only goal of the participants is Correct your spelling
judges
obtaining
trophies in sports. Change the verb form
to obtain
In other words
, if the athletes win in a
essential match, they can gain not only tremendous money but Change the article
an
also
the
great reputation, Correct article usage
a
therefore
the
more usage of banned beverages Correct article usage
apply
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
inheritly
Correct your spelling
inherently
make
sense. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Also
, as soon as these people absord
doping, every hindrance will become much more straightforward and they can facilitate all harsh tasks contained in the games. Correct your spelling
absorb
Taking
Phu Quy as a prime example. Wrong verb form
Take
this
indiviual
had used doping in order to achieve the most worthy trophy in Correct your spelling
individual
worldcup
that the strain is said to release and the valour is built in terms of the championship.
Correct your spelling
the World Cup
But
the severe prohibition Correct word choice
However
in
utilizing doping is the key Change preposition
of
of
mitigating Change preposition
to
this
problem. The organizers must regislate
new rules and add more punishment if there are Correct your spelling
legislate
register
the
various Correct article usage
apply
usage
of Replace the word
uses
this
substance,
so that the Remove the comma
apply
intimidatation
form in these athletes and Correct your spelling
intimidation
this
problem will consistently end up. Otherwise
, inspectors can initially
identify if there are
any doping contained or some advanced machines analyze the blood inside the body to guarantee that these people Correct subject-verb agreement
is
not
consume cheated substances. In Saudi Arabia, the huge world international football league Add a missing verb
do not
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
occured
in Correct your spelling
occurred
this
region where the number of cheating by absording
doping Correct your spelling
absorbing
were
seen the least compared to the previous years because Correct subject-verb agreement
was
of
the indecent behaviours were deeply punished and Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
seriously
examination regarding Change the adverb
serious
to
doping utilization.
In conclusion, the frequent happening in consuming banned substances is because Remove the preposition
apply
the
ambition to attain the top in Change preposition
of the
competions
, Correct your spelling
competitions
however
the needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
for creating
new rules is the solution.Change preposition
to create
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and provides a complete response, discussing both the causes and solutions related to athletes using banned substances. However, your ideas, although clear in intention, suffer from grammatical and lexical errors that sometimes make it hard to understand your points fully.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth and logical flow of ideas. Your essay tends to jump from one point to another without smooth transitions. This affects the overall coherence and cohesion of your argument. Try to use linking words and sequences to guide your reader through your argument more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps structure your response.
task achievement
You provide relevant specific examples, like the one from Saudi Arabia, which helps in supporting your arguments and makes your essay more engaging.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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