In many professional sports, there is an increase in the numbers of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions.

#sports #numbers #athletes #substances #performance #phenomenon

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In a chunk sports of professional activities, there is a momentum in a amount of competitors using doping to enhance

the

Change the word

their

show examples

abilities.

This

issue occurs

due to

the desire to win in the salient match,

however

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

stamp out these cheated substances from strict

judgers

Correct your spelling

judges

show examples

. The only goal of the participants is

obtaining

Change the verb form

to obtain

show examples

trophies in sports.

In other words

, if the athletes win in

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show examples

essential match, they can gain not only tremendous money but

also

the

Correct article usage

show examples

great reputation,

therefore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

more usage of banned beverages

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

inheritly

Correct your spelling

inherently

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

sense.

Also

, as soon as these people

absord

Correct your spelling

absorb

doping, every hindrance will become much more straightforward and they can facilitate all harsh tasks contained in the games.

Taking

Wrong verb form

Take

show examples

Phu Quy as a prime example.

this

indiviual

Correct your spelling

individual

had used doping in order to achieve the most worthy trophy in

worldcup

Correct your spelling

the World Cup

that the strain is said to release and the valour is built in terms of the championship.

But

Correct word choice

However

show examples

the severe prohibition

Change preposition

show examples

utilizing doping is the key

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show examples

mitigating

this

problem. The organizers must

regislate

Correct your spelling

legislate

new rules and add more punishment if there are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

various

usage

Replace the word

uses

show examples

this

substance

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that the

intimidatation

Correct your spelling

intimidation

form in these athletes and

this

problem will consistently end up.

Otherwise

, inspectors can

initially

identify if there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

any doping contained or some advanced machines analyze the blood inside the body to guarantee that these people

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

consume cheated substances. In Saudi Arabia, the huge world international football league

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

occured

Correct your spelling

occurred

this

region where the number of cheating by

absording

Correct your spelling

absorbing

doping

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

seen the least compared to the previous years because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the indecent behaviours were deeply punished and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

seriously

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serious

show examples

examination regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

doping utilization. In conclusion, the frequent happening in consuming banned substances is because

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

ambition to attain the top in

competions

Correct your spelling

competitions

however

the

needs

Fix the agreement mistake

need

show examples

for creating

Change preposition

to create

show examples

new rules is the solution.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Tue May 21 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic well and provides a complete response, discussing both the causes and solutions related to athletes using banned substances. However, your ideas, although clear in intention, suffer from grammatical and lexical errors that sometimes make it hard to understand your points fully.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a smooth and logical flow of ideas. Your essay tends to jump from one point to another without smooth transitions. This affects the overall coherence and cohesion of your argument. Try to use linking words and sequences to guide your reader through your argument more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps structure your response.

task achievement

You provide relevant specific examples, like the one from Saudi Arabia, which helps in supporting your arguments and makes your essay more engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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In many professional sports, there is an increase in the numbers of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Art claseses, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages of reading e-books outweigh its disadvantages?

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

In many places, new houses are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?