Nowadays, many people prefer to seek medical advice on the Internet instead of seeing a qualified doctor. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

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In
this
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day and age, there is a divisive opinion in society. Where some folks tend to look for medical treatment on the sites.
However
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, others choose to
seeing
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see
show examples
a qualified doctor. Based on my perspective, it will be
positive
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a positive
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development
for
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apply
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in recent years
along with
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this
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letter I am going to discuss the reason
of
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for
show examples
this
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phenomenon before arriving at the sum up.
To begin
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with, in the rapidly changing
Add a comma
word,
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word
Correct your spelling
world
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a large number of people prefer to gain
information
Use synonyms
about
medical
Replace the word
medicine
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from websites. There are
pleanty
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plenty
of reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
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trend.
Firstly
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, in
this
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modern world with
increasing
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the increasing
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of
millenials
Correct your spelling
millennials
millennial
generation almost all of them want to make
all is
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everything
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efficient
hence
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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can
reach
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be reached
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by
shopisticated
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sophisticated
technology. For illustration, we can get
information
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how
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on how
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to cope
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with disases
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disases
Correct your spelling
diseases
from some apps, it
is
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apply
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could
saving
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save
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a lot of time rather than
we have
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having
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to go to
hospital
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the hospital
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to
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for
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do medical check
up
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apply
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.
Secondly
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, if we utilize
internet
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the internet
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toward
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to
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seek medical advice we can
acces
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access
it
for
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apply
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every
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everywhere
show examples
where it is become simple and effective thing to overcome our issues.
However
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,
information
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for
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on
show examples
internet
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the internet
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cointain
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contain
contains
several
drawback
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drawbacks
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.
For instance
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, we can not know how
about
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apply
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our conditions we
could not
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cannot
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gain observation from
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a doctor
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doctor
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doctor's
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diagnosis.
Neverthless
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Nevertheless
,
those problem
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that problem
those problems
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can
tackle
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be tackled
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by the developer of
application
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the application
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always enhance
this
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fiture
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future
figure
feature
to be better year than
years
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year
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consequently
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the prediction from the apps more appropriate.
Moreover
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,
cost
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the cost
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of consultation by online is really modest than directly
go
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going
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to
medical
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a medical
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center it will
give
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have
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positive
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a positive
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impact
for
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on
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our economic sector. In conclusion, nowadays
use
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using
show examples
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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to gain
information
Use synonyms
about
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
is
really
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a really
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positive development in society we can
more
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be more
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efficient
Change the word
efficiently
show examples
and
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
to get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
it.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the topic and provides a comprehensive response. However, some of your ideas are not clearly conveyed due to language inaccuracies. Make sure to check your grammar and word choice to ensure clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Each paragraph should convey a single clear idea which links back to the main argument. Use transition words and clear topic sentences to help guide the reader.
task achievement
Some of your examples and points are relevant, but they need to be more specific and detailed to fully support your argument. Try to include real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios to better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a good framework for your essay, and the main points are well-supported.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the prompt, discussing the reasons people seek medical advice online and evaluating whether it is a positive or negative development.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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