Nowadays, many people prefer to seek medical advice on the Internet instead of seeing a qualified doctor. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?
In
this
day and age, there is a divisive opinion in society. Where some folks tend to look for medical treatment on the sites. However
, others choose to seeing
a qualified doctor. Based on my perspective, it will be Change the verb
see
positive
development Add an article
a positive
for
in recent years Change preposition
apply
along with
this
letter I am going to discuss the reason of
Change preposition
for
this
phenomenon before arriving at the sum up.
To begin
with, in the rapidly changing Add a comma
word,
word
a large number of people prefer to gain Correct your spelling
world
information
about medical
from websites. There are Replace the word
medicine
pleanty
of reasons Correct your spelling
plenty
of
Change preposition
for
this
trend. Firstly
, in this
modern world with increasing
ofCorrect article usage
the increasing
millenials
generation almost all of them want to make Correct your spelling
millennials
millennial
all is
efficient Verb problem
everything
hence
that
can Correct pronoun usage
which
reach
by Wrong verb form
be reached
shopisticated
technology. For illustration, we can get Correct your spelling
sophisticated
information
how
to cope Change preposition
on how
Change preposition
with disases
disases
from some apps, it Correct your spelling
diseases
is
could Unnecessary verb
apply
saving
a lot of time rather than Wrong verb form
save
we have
to go to Wrong verb form
having
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
to
do medical checkChange preposition
for
up
. Change preposition
apply
Secondly
, if we utilize internet
Correct article usage
the internet
toward
seek medical advice we can Change preposition
to
acces
it Correct your spelling
access
for
Change preposition
apply
every
where it is become simple and effective thing to overcome our issues.
Correct your spelling
everywhere
However
, information
for
Change preposition
on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
cointain
several Correct your spelling
contain
contains
drawback
. Change to a plural noun
drawbacks
For instance
, we can not know how about
our conditions we Change preposition
apply
could not
gain observation from Wrong verb form
cannot
Correct article usage
a doctor
doctor
diagnosis. Change noun form
doctor's
Neverthless
, Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
those problem
can Change the determiner
that problem
those problems
tackle
by the developer of Wrong verb form
be tackled
application
always enhance Correct article usage
the application
this
fiture
to be better year than Correct your spelling
future
figure
feature
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
consequently
the prediction from the apps more appropriate. Moreover
, cost
of consultation by online is really modest than directly Correct article usage
the cost
go
to Wrong verb form
going
medical
center it will Correct article usage
a medical
give
Verb problem
have
positive
impact Correct article usage
a positive
for
our economic sector.
In conclusion, nowadays Change preposition
on
use
Wrong verb form
using
Add an article
the internet
internet
to gain Capitalize word
Internet
information
about medical
is Replace the word
medicine
really
positive development in society we can Correct article usage
a really
more
Add a missing verb
be more
efficient
and Change the word
efficiently
effective
Change the word
effectively
to get
it.Change the verb form
getting
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on
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task achievement
Your essay covers the topic and provides a comprehensive response. However, some of your ideas are not clearly conveyed due to language inaccuracies. Make sure to check your grammar and word choice to ensure clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Each paragraph should convey a single clear idea which links back to the main argument. Use transition words and clear topic sentences to help guide the reader.
task achievement
Some of your examples and points are relevant, but they need to be more specific and detailed to fully support your argument. Try to include real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios to better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a good framework for your essay, and the main points are well-supported.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the prompt, discussing the reasons people seek medical advice online and evaluating whether it is a positive or negative development.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example