The chart below shows the results of a survey about patients who stayed in different wards of a hospital. The chart also shows the percentage of patients who replied ‘very good’ about the various aspects of their hospital experience.
The diagram below illustrates the results of a survey regarding the patients staying in various wards, Holly, Oak and Maple, of a hospital,
besides
that, the chart also
reveals the amount of people who thought the place's various services were incredible during their period of time.
Firstly
, when it comes to Holly wards, crowds suffering can be treated by many staff available there effectively and rapidly due to
lots of personnel, furthermore
, according to
the bar, the quality of treatment is very good, and so is the aftercare, hence
, amongst these three wards, this
one seems to be the best when compared.
Next,
Maple, the place lacks staff resulting in time-consuming waiting and causing the clients dissatisfied, nevertheless
, during the treatment, most patients are happy but after that stage, some start to be hell on, thus
, it is the worst.
Eventually, Oak, although
most parts are better than the previous one, is lower than the first ward owing to the long waiting time which is worse than Maple since the clients have to wait for the service, in parallel, others are good.Submitted by nutthan.aud on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼