IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
number
Use synonyms
 of live species and plants is decreasing rapidly. The main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 issue are illegal hunting
activities
Use synonyms
 and the extensive cutting down of
trees
Use synonyms
 from forests. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, the government should ban illegal hunting, limit hunting to certain times of the
year
Use synonyms
, and plant more
trees
Use synonyms
. The main reasons why
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants are declining are the increasing
number
Use synonyms
 of illegal hunting
activities
Use synonyms
 and
deforestation
Use synonyms
 in many areas.
People
Use synonyms
 in some regions kill
animals
Use synonyms
 either as a sport or for their meat.
As a result
Linking Words
,
animals
Use synonyms
 in some parts of the world are no longer alive because of these illegal
activities
Use synonyms
, and other
animals
Use synonyms
 are in danger of extinction.
For example
Linking Words
, in Australia, a
number
Use synonyms
 of birds are being collected and preserved in one place to protect them from being killed by hunters.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 cut down a large
number
Use synonyms
 of
trees
Use synonyms
 every
year
Use synonyms
 to use in heating systems or the furniture industry. Many countries are now suffering from an increase in desert areas because of extensive
deforestation
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, hundreds of kilometres in Brazil have become deserts and have no vegetation. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, the government should ban illegal hunting and allow it to some extent only at certain times of the
year
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 should be prohibited from killing
animals
Use synonyms
 without reasonable reasons.
Moreover
Linking Words
, any illegal
activities
Use synonyms
 should be met with punishments to reduce unauthorized hunting.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, officials should find alternative materials to use in the heating and furniture industries to limit
deforestation
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the government should plant more
trees
Use synonyms
 and seek help from environmental agencies in
this
Linking Words
 effort.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Texas, USA, the state council has implemented regulations to ban hunting during certain times of the
year
Use synonyms
 to protect wildlife. In conclusion, unauthorized hunting and
deforestation
Use synonyms
 are the main factors causing the decline in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants.
However
Linking Words
, applying regulations to prevent
people
Use synonyms
 from killing
animals
Use synonyms
 and cutting
trees
Use synonyms
 can help protect the ecosystem.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the key aspects of the task, the examples could be more varied and detailed to thoroughly support the main points. Consider providing specific statistics or case studies to bolster your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are cohesively linked with clear transitional phrases. This will help improve the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on the recommendations for solving the problem of deforestation and illegal hunting. This will provide a more comprehensive discussion and show a deeper understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The answer fully addresses both parts of the question, discussing the causes and proposing solutions.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points, which enhances the credibility of the arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
What to do next:
Look at other essays: