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Some people think competitive sports have positive affects on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effects are negative. Discuss both views and give your opinio.

#people #sports #education #teenagers #effects #opinio
When comes to the question
that
Change preposition
of
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 whether
sports
 competitions bring more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 or drawbacks to the education of
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
, different people tend to have different attitudes.
Although
 some people argue that
sports
 games may affect young students' academic performance, I still believe that there are more
advantagous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 effects.
To begin
 with, exercise plays a significant role in adolescents' physical fitness and mental health. Teenage is the
morst
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most
 important period for a
men's
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man's
show examples
 body and mind development, regular exercise can improve their physical strength and relieve stress from their daily studies,
thus
enable
Wrong verb form
enabling
show examples
 their learning in class more
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
.
In addition
, to encourage young people to participate in
sports
,
compitions
Correct your spelling
competitions
compilations
 are the best way.
For example
, a "School Olympic" may motivate students to practice for winning a place in the game. As a healthy body and mind are the basics for being committed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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studies, competitive
sports
 can definitely contribute to education.
Furthermore
, during the practice and competitions, the participants gain the
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to
imporove
Correct your spelling
improve
 their analytical techniques, problem-solving skills and teamwork spirit which may all
effect
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affect
show examples
 positively on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education. To cite just
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 example, to win a football match, a team will need to cooperate
together with
 good strategies. The training for the match will become a precious experience for the teenagers to improve their confidence, self-esteem, and
nature
Verb problem
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
analytical mind which may
benefits
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benefit
show examples
 their studies. To
conclue
Correct your spelling
conclude
, the effects of competitive
sports
 are positive on
schooling
Add an article
the schooling
show examples
 of young students because their participation
help
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helps
show examples
 them improve in many aspects
such
 as mental and physical health development and soft skills that
making
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
 their learning more
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
. Schools and parents should make a joint effort to encourage teenagers
participating
Change the verb form
to participate
show examples
such
Change preposition
in such
show examples
 competitions.
Submitted by carriexue23 on

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task achievement
To further improve task achievement, ensure that the arguments for both sides of the debate are equally addressed. This will provide a more balanced view and enrich the discussion.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on refining topic sentences and linking words to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
To strengthen your examples, include more specific and detailed instances. This will add depth and credibility to your arguments.
task achievement
Continue to focus on delivering clear, organized ideas. However, work on avoiding repetitive phrases and varying sentence structure to make your writing more engaging.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by presenting both perspectives and stating your position clearly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has strong closing statements that effectively sum up your opinions and suggestions regarding competitive sports in education.
supported main points
The examples given, such as the 'School Olympic,' help illustrate your points and make your arguments more concrete. This is a good strategy to make your essay more compelling.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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