IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that news has no connection with people’s lives; so it is a waste of time to read newspapers and watch television news programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Around the world, some
people
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 think that
news
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 does not connect with resident's lives.
In addition
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, they
also
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 regard reading
newspapers
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 or watching
TV
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news
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programmes
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 as wasting
people
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's
time
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. In my opinion, it is equally beneficial to read
newspapers
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 and to be aware of new information. In
this
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 modern world,
people
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 possess their own cell phones, and they can be aware of
news
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 quickly by using these.
Then
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,
people
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 started to think about
time
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 management, and reading
newspapers
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 or watching
TV
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programmes
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 as wasting
time
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.
Furthermore
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, they are starting to spend their
time
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 on
another significant factors
Replace the adjective
another significant factor
other significant factors
show examples
such
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 as
improvingtheir
Correct your spelling
improving their
 productivity at work, possessing new skills, or teaching their children.
For example
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, nowadays a multitude of parents are beginning to spend more
time
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 with their children, and nurturing them from a young age. Not reading the
news
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 or watching
programmes
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 might appear to some negative for
people
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. The
people
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's consideration skills might disappear gradually because they spend their
time
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 scrolling the reels on social media
such
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 as Instagram, TikTok, or others. As regards
this
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, the reels in these media have a small amount of
time
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, 10-15 seconds.
As a result
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,
this
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 affects their consideration. Another disagreement is that
people
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 might encounter incorrect information by watching reels, and they can be deceived. In conclusion, the majority of
people
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 think that reading
newspapers
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 and watching
TV
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news
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programmes
Use synonyms
 is to waste of
time
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.
While
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people
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 think
similarly
Linking Words
, I truly agree that reading
newspapers
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 or watching
TV
Use synonyms
news
Use synonyms
, is not to waste of
time
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction introduces the topic and includes a clear opinion, which is good. However, try to further develop and clearly connect your arguments to your thesis statement in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points effectively. This would help to make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, consider adding more linking words and phrases to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to reduce redundancy and avoid repeating the same ideas. Focus on creating well-developed paragraphs with clear main points and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and appropriately summarize the topic and your stance.
coherence cohesion
You have clear paragraphs that separate different ideas, contributing to the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant points and attempt to support them with examples, which shows your understanding of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential information
  • local events
  • public health
  • impact
  • political developments
  • participating
  • democratic processes
  • international news
  • global issues
  • interconnectedness
  • economic news
  • personal financial decisions
  • investments
  • cultural news
  • social awareness
  • community engagement
  • selective consumption
  • knowledgeable
  • pertinent matters
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