in the past, the main role of teachers was providing information. Today with various sources of information available to students, teachers have no role in modern education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowdays
,Correct the word
Nowadays
information
could
accumulated by amount of ways,especially for Wrong verb form
can be
the
today’s students,they access Correct article usage
apply
information
easier
than before, Rephrase
more easily
therefore
,some people think the role
of teacher
is not as essential as it used to be in modern life. In my opinion,I particularly Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
disagrre
Correct your spelling
disagree
this
concept.
Change preposition
with this
First,
contemporary teachers
can prevent juvenile delinquency through education. Nowadays, most of the information
is circulated on the Internet without filtering. Youngman
may see various violent Correct your spelling
Young men
information
and imitate it because they are unable to distinguish right from wrong and are curious, which may lead to serious violent incidents. Teachers
can use their own knowledge
and life experience to teach teenagers that some information
is wrong and cannot be imitated. This
allows pupuils
to understand what they cannot do, thereby preventing children from committing crimes because they are unable to judge right from wrong after reading some Correct your spelling
pupils
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
information
.
On the other hand
, I think professers
in modern society can help college Correct your spelling
professors
studentsunderstand
more relevant Correct your spelling
students understand
knowledge
materials. For example
, in university research, professor guidance plays a big role
. Facing all kinds of research information
, it is very difficult for us to find matching academic materials. Here professors can help us judge which books to read. Help us and add useful resources so that we have the opportunity to read useful knowledge
and save a lot of time.
Overall
, teachers
in today's society are not only who tell us knowledge
, but also
who teach us how to judge right from wrong and how to clarify academic knowledge
. So I think it is wrong that teachers
are not important in contemporary society. After the above analysis, I think professors still play an important role
in our life teaching and academic teaching, so I do not agree that professors no longer play a role
.Submitted by luohongqianwen on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic clearly and provides a thorough response to the prompt. You present a clear point of view and support your arguments effectively.
task achievement
However, there are a few language inaccuracies and minor errors that occasionally make your arguments less clear. For example, 'Youngman' should be 'young men', and 'pupuils' should be 'pupils'. Make sure to proofread your work to correct such errors.
coherence cohesion
Structure-wise, your essay follows a logical order with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas can be made smoother. Consider using transition words and phrases such as 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'In contrast' to link your ideas seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they can be further developed. The introduction should briefly outline the main points you will discuss, and the conclusion should summarize them effectively. This will give your essay a more cohesive structure.
task achievement
In terms of content, you have provided good examples, especially in discussing the role of teachers in preventing juvenile delinquency and assisting in academic research. Ensure that each example is directly tied back to your main argument to reinforce your points.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a well-reasoned argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clearly supported, making your argument convincing.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in place, with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.