Al parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but other think having a range of subject is better for a children's future. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #future

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many parents want

children

Use synonyms

to focus intensively on academic

subjects

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as maths, science and languages,

while

Linking Words

some people consider that

children

Use synonyms

should learn practical

skills

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that

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their

future's

Change noun form

future

show examples

careers. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my opinion

Learing

Correct your spelling

Learning

some practical

skills

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such

Linking Words

as computer

progarmming

Correct your spelling

programming

skills

Use synonyms

and essay writing

skills

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may help students increase

employablility

Correct your spelling

employability

and gain more

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

future's

Change noun form

future

show examples

careers rather than learning only academic

subjects

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Shcool

Correct your spelling

School

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

to provide a customized curriculum that

suitable

Add a missing verb

is suitable

show examples

for each

learners

Fix the agreement mistake

learner

show examples

depending on

children

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interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

and

talent

Fix the agreement mistake

talents

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, people who want to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

can participate in drawing and painting

class

Fix the agreement mistake

classes

show examples

and computer

skills

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such

Linking Words

as Animation and 3D

model

Replace the word

modelling

show examples

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

. I firmly agree because it is

impative

Correct your spelling

imperative

for

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

to facilitate the curriculums that suit

children

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preference

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preferences

show examples

and help them achieve their future goals.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, It can be argued that learning a compulsory curriculum

such

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as math, science or

lanuages

Correct your spelling

language

can improve

students

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students'

student's

show examples

knowledge and help

children

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explore and pursue their interests.

Children

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are able to learn every

Use synonyms

subjects

Change to a singular noun

subject

show examples

to find what is their talents and their passions.

For example

Linking Words

, some individuals are inspired by

subjects

Use synonyms

in school and they want to learn more in the university.

Conversely

Linking Words

, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement because every

classes

Change to a singular noun

class

show examples

do not match

children

Use synonyms

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

and

passion

Fix the agreement mistake

passions

show examples

. In conclusion, I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

status quo to

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

teach practical

skills

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for

Change preposition

show examples

students by designing a

couse

Correct your spelling

course

based on

children

Use synonyms

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

Submitted by bhavifasai on Wed May 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Spelling

Ensure all grammar and spelling errors are corrected. For instance, 'Learing' should be 'Learning', 'progarmming' should be 'programming', and 'lanuages' should be 'languages'.

Content Development

Expand on the reasons given, particularly in the second body paragraph. Explore both views with a bit more depth and provide further examples. This can help in achieving a higher task response score.

Coherence

Improve the transition between ideas to enhance the logical structure. Although the essay flows logically overall, refining transitions between sentences and paragraphs can improve coherence.

Structure

Clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good framework for the essay.

Content

Good attempt to discuss both perspectives and provide a personal opinion.

Examples

Relevant examples and main points support the discussion effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Equipping
Financial literacy
Well-rounded individual
Critical thinking
Passion
Adult responsibilities
Life skills
Academic knowledge
21st-century skills
Adaptability
Diverse curriculum
Job market
Employment
Cultural literacy
Empathy
Citizenship

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Al parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but other think having a range of subject is better for a children's future. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.