Al parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but other think having a range of subject is better for a children's future. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #future

Many parents want

children

to focus intensively on academic

subjects

such

as maths, science and languages,

while

some people consider that

children

should learn practical

skills

that

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their

future's

Change noun form

future

show examples

careers. In

this

essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my opinion

Learing

Correct your spelling

Learning

some practical

skills

such

as computer

progarmming

Correct your spelling

programming

skills

and essay writing

skills

may help students increase

employablility

Correct your spelling

employability

and gain more

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

future's

Change noun form

future

show examples

careers rather than learning only academic

subjects

Shcool

Correct your spelling

School

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

to provide a customized curriculum that

suitable

Add a missing verb

is suitable

show examples

for each

learners

Fix the agreement mistake

learner

show examples

depending on

children

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

and

talent

Fix the agreement mistake

talents

show examples

For example

, people who want to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

can participate in drawing and painting

class

Fix the agreement mistake

classes

show examples

and computer

skills

such

as Animation and 3D

model

Replace the word

modelling

show examples

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

. I firmly agree because it is

impative

Correct your spelling

imperative

for

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

to facilitate the curriculums that suit

children

preference

Fix the agreement mistake

preferences

show examples

and help them achieve their future goals.

On the other hand

, It can be argued that learning a compulsory curriculum

such

as math, science or

lanuages

Correct your spelling

language

can improve

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

knowledge and help

children

explore and pursue their interests.

Children

are able to learn every

subjects

Change to a singular noun

subject

show examples

to find what is their talents and their passions.

For example

, some individuals are inspired by

subjects

in school and they want to learn more in the university.

Conversely

, I disagree with

this

statement because every

classes

Change to a singular noun

class

show examples

do not match

children

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

and

passion

Fix the agreement mistake

passions

show examples

. In conclusion, I strongly agree with

this

status quo to

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

teach practical

skills

for

Change preposition

show examples

students by designing a

couse

Correct your spelling

course

based on

children

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

Submitted by bhavifasai on Wed May 22 2024

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Grammar and Spelling

Ensure all grammar and spelling errors are corrected. For instance, 'Learing' should be 'Learning', 'progarmming' should be 'programming', and 'lanuages' should be 'languages'.

Content Development

Expand on the reasons given, particularly in the second body paragraph. Explore both views with a bit more depth and provide further examples. This can help in achieving a higher task response score.

Coherence

Improve the transition between ideas to enhance the logical structure. Although the essay flows logically overall, refining transitions between sentences and paragraphs can improve coherence.

Structure

Clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good framework for the essay.

Content

Good attempt to discuss both perspectives and provide a personal opinion.

Examples

Relevant examples and main points support the discussion effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Equipping
Financial literacy
Well-rounded individual
Critical thinking
Passion
Adult responsibilities
Life skills
Academic knowledge
21st-century skills
Adaptability
Diverse curriculum
Job market
Employment
Cultural literacy
Empathy
Citizenship

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Al parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but other think having a range of subject is better for a children's future. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

There are more families having only one child in the modern days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It’s more important for governments to spend public funds on promoting a healthy lifestyle than treatment. Do you agree or disagree?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?