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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet. What problems may this trend lead to? What solutions would you recomend?

#development #media #youngsters #access #internet #trend #recomend
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In contemporary society, advancements in technology,
such
 as the internet, have become crucial, especially for the younger generation.
However
, social
media
 is not a safe platform for youngsters to use without supervision
due to
 problematic
content
,
such
 as sexual and violent material. In
this
 essay, I will address the problems of
this
 trend and provide optimal solutions to mitigate these issues.
While
 social
media
 offers benefits like maintaining friendships and enhancing business sales, it can lead to numerous problems for
children
. Without parental supervision,
children
 might encounter inappropriate
content
,
such
 as sexual activities or animal abuse, which are not suitable for younger audiences.
For example
, youngsters who watch violent
content
 might imitate
such
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in real life.
Additionally
, some individuals might use social
media
 to deceive
children
 into sharing nude photos or personal information. These experiences can traumatize
children
 for years, potentially leading to mental health problems like depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. Addressing
this
 issue is urgent for
parents
 and communities to protect
children
 from inappropriate
content
 on social
media
.
Parents
 should actively monitor their
children
’s social
media
 activities and provide guidance on identifying suitable
content
.
Furthermore
,
parents
 should limit their
children
’s social
media
 usage and monitor their chats to ensure they are not interacting with strangers. In conclusion,
while
 the internet offers several benefits, it
also
 poses significant risks, especially for the younger generation. It is crucial for
parents
 to protect their
children
 by teaching
media
 literacy and providing proper supervision and guidance.
Submitted by bhavifasai on

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task achievement
Ensure to support every main point with relevant examples and data to strengthen the argument further.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear paragraph transitions to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, addressing the problems and solutions comprehensively.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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