Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
Around the world, some
group
of Fix the agreement mistake
groups
people
condemn that utilizing animals
in experiments
is not good, and it
should be restricted. Correct pronoun usage
apply
On the other hand
, another group of people
agree with
that using Correct word choice
apply
animals
in experiments
is essential for new scientific research. In my opinion, in this
modern world, we manage to find new alternatives such
as through using IT technologies.
Since
Change preposition
In
past
times, scientists Correct article usage
the past
use
Wrong verb form
have used
animals
for experience such
as producing new food, cosmetics, and medicine. It is because, new products
might be harmful, or they can cause diseases. Therefore
, all new manufacturing things must be tested through animals
, most of the time through mouses
. Replace the word
mice
For instance
, I read and heard about
that Change preposition
apply
mouses
and bunnies are used to manufacture new cosmetic Fix the agreement mistake
mice
products
. As a result
, these animals
went to the
death, or they became blind or invalid.
If we look at Correct article usage
apply
this
from another perspective, the world are
becoming increasingly modern, and new technologies are manufactured. Change the verb form
is
Hence
, scientists can create new technologies to indicate the effects of products
,
and their availability for consumption. All the time, scientists can not use Remove the comma
apply
animals
as
Change preposition
in
experiments
. These animals
are also
alive creatures and they have a choice of life. We can see another way, the number of people
who have
Verb problem
are
a
seriously ill, and the percentage of their living is precisely low, if they reveal their consent, new medicines can be tested through them.
In conclusion, some Correct article usage
apply
people
argue that using animals
as
Change preposition
in
experiments
is bad, and others think that it is essential for new products
. Here is my opinion, it is awful to use alive
creatures for any Correct your spelling
live
experiments
.Submitted by muxtasar1004 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, to enhance the logical flow of your essay, try to use more linking words and phrases that help connect your ideas seamlessly. For example, words like 'however', 'moreover', and 'therefore' can guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
The task requires a balanced discussion on whether animal experimentation can be justified and exploring alternatives. While you provided some insight into the alternatives, there could have been more depth to your arguments and a broader range of examples. Expanding on both sides of the argument equally and with more specific details will improve your response.
task achievement
Your main points are supported but could be more deeply elaborated. Including more specific examples and data, where applicable, can strengthen your arguments. For instance, citing specific technologies or studies that serve as alternatives to animal testing can add weight to your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements. This balanced approach is an important aspect of Task Response.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well. This is a good practice for structuring your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example