Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There are many people who think that
rewards
should be given to those pupils who perform excellently in their exams,
although
others believe that they should be given to those
students
who show dramatic improvement in their grades. In my opinion, to get constant performance from a student, a prize should be given to those
students
who always outlay excellent
overall
results. On the one hand, to get continuous high outcomes, a student always needs to put in great effort. So, they should be rewarded as it is necessary to improve their career more and more.
Moreover
, a prize will encourage them to do work more than previously
as well as
to develop a positive mindset in their mind.
For example
, a study was conducted on 100 primary school
students
(50 gifts: 50 non-gift) in Bangladesh by Dhaka University, where they found that 42
students
out of 50 kept their position in the final exam as they were given a gift,
while
it was 32 out of 50 among the non-gift group.
On the other hand
, it is
also
important to give prize who shows significant development in their exam. If one person gets a gift when he or she improves himself or herself in a particular subject, he or she will get motivation which will enhance to perform better in the next exams.
For instance
, it has been common nowadays in various institutions to give
rewards
when learners perform better
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
specific
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
such
as Physics, Chemistry which helps them to grow more and more in
this
field. In conclusion,
rewards
are necessary for any type of improvement;
however
, it is more necessary to give prizes who can keep himself or herself constantly than any particular improvement.
For
this
reason, I think, it will be more impactful, if the
rewards
are given to the
students
who show excellent academic performance.
Submitted by zobaermasum12 on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the task, further development of ideas and arguments would make it more compelling. Try to elaborate on your points and extend your arguments with multiple examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one, maintaining a flow of ideas throughout the text. Clarify the connections between different arguments to make them easier for the reader to follow.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the two opposing views and frames the writer’s personal opinion, which is carried through the essay.
task achievement
Examples are used to support the arguments, such as the study by Dhaka University, adding credibility to the points made.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main arguments and reinforces the writer’s viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • excellent academic performance
  • significant improvement
  • motivates
  • aspires
  • intelligence
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • competitive spirit
  • academic success
  • struggle academically
  • perseverance
  • innate ability
  • confidence
  • valued
  • growth mindset
  • inclusive environment
  • holistic education
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