Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other.Others believe people have become more independent.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Whether individuals today are more dependent on each other is a highly subjective discussion point.
However
,from prior experience, it is more beneficial for people
have become more independent due to
having more social skills
and hard work
by themselves,despite those who believe that depending on someone
can get good achievement or successful results in their life.
It must be understood that most the
successful Correct article usage
apply
people
are independent.This
is due to
creating more social skills
in life.With this
in mind,people
can be good at their jobs and communication by using good social skills
,they can get good relationships with others.Thus
,independence plays a crucial role in people
’s lives.
However
,some people
think that being dependent on someone
can easily get successful achievements and laziness
Replace the word
lazy
work
.There is a belief that people
are always lazy to work
hard things and depend on someone
else to replace their work
with them.They are right to a certain extent,but people
need to get help from someone
not
depend on them too much,by getting help Correct word choice
and not
people
can easily slove
it with their Correct your spelling
solve
skills
and hard work
.
From this
writer’s experience,people
need to be independent in their work
or studies to create social skills
and hard work
but they could get help from other people
to solve it.A personal example is people
can depend on someone
if they have serious problems or they can not do that,people
can create skilful in their life.
Clearly,this
essay has shown that
the main factors which impact upon Correct word choice
apply
create
Replace the word
creation
social
Change preposition
of social
skills
and hard work
skills
.Therefore
,people
need to depend on someone
if they needed and have a good reason to do that.Submitted by [email protected] on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining both views on the topic. However, you should work on organizing your main points more logically and ensure that each paragraph flows clearly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use more transition words and phrases to link your ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by discussing both viewpoints and giving your own opinion. However, your examples could be more specific and relevant to the points you are making.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by elaborating on your points with detailed explanations and precise examples. This will add depth to your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces and concludes the topic well, giving a balanced discussion of both viewpoints.
task achievement
You have managed to address the task completely by discussing both views and providing your own perspective, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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