Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to child’s development as other subject, so it should be compulsory inhigh schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

There is a common view that painting and drawing play an important role in
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
show examples
development like other natural subjects, so it must be compulsory in high school.
This
essay
agree
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agrees
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that painting is very vital, but not have to
study
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be studied
show examples
in high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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. On the one hand, the role of classes involving
art
is admittedly as important as that of others.
For instance
,
while
math which regularly requires students to calculate and solve mathematical
question
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questions
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helps develop their mental ability, painting and drawing
a
Correct article usage
apply
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facilitate a child’s growth
his
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of his
show examples
or her emotional intelligence. By attending these classes, students stand a chance to learn how to observe works of
art
and can look through
Add an article
the picture
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picture
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pictures
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to analyze
it
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them
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and
intensive
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apply
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understanding
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understand
show examples
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of
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feeling
Verb problem
apply
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others
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others'
other's
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emotions. The major reason is student
is
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are
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also
as great
as
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apply
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in English and
languages
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other languages
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because
all
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of all
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of
knowledge
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the knowledge
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they will apply to express their ideas.
On the other hand
, if painting to
learn
Verb problem
taught
show examples
in high school, it will have some problems.
Firstly
, not many
student
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students
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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enthusiastic about are, which
cause
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causes
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this
subject ten to
bored
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be too boring
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and
stress to enforce
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stressful
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to learn
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apply
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it
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apply
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seriously.
This
amount of time can
paying
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pay
be paying
show examples
attention
on
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to
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other classes that
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
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more interested in and use
it
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them
show examples
more
effective
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effectively
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.
Secondly
, should
art
be obligatory at school, students who are not artistically gifted may
difficult
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have difficult
show examples
grade to achieve scores
this
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in this
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subject. Taking all points into
accounts
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account
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, despite being as beneficial to a student’s growth as other subjects,
art
course
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courses
show examples
should
no
Correct your spelling
not
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be obligated in high schools.

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Introduction Clarity
Your introduction sets up the topic well, but it can be clearer in stating your position. Try to explicitly state whether you agree or disagree and why.
Supporting Arguments
Some arguments are not fully developed or supported by specific examples. Be sure to provide more concrete examples to strengthen your points.
Grammar and Phrasing
Your essay has some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'paintings and drawing a facilitate a child’s growth his or her emotional intelligence' needs correction. Consider revising for clarity and accuracy.
Sentence Structure
Work on sentence variety and structure. Try to avoid repetitive sentence structures and make sure each sentence flows smoothly into the next.
Conclusion Strength
Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing your main points. However, ensure it restates your clear stance on the topic as well.
Balanced Perspective
You address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced perspective.
Strong Argument
You make a good argument about the importance of emotionally intelligent growth through art, which is a strong point.
Clear Structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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