Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent you do agree or disagree?
The
Correct article usage
A
big
amounts of Correct word choice
large
people
think that should bring painting and drawing in
high school because of the important development. Change preposition
to
This
writer also
agree
with Change the verb form
agrees
this
opinion.
Some people
think that it is not compulsory to bring that at
school. The reasons why they think Change preposition
to
that is
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
semister
Correct your spelling
semester
,
Remove the comma
apply
because
like Viet Nam, Correct word choice
apply
students
have to study than
ten subjects and if adding one other subject, they can flow. The other reason is talent, more Correct quantifier usage
more than
students
feel so scared with
drawing Change preposition
of
examination
. It means that to get Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
good
Add an article
a good
Fix the agreement mistake
results
result
, they have to overcome that examination with the high point, and so a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
results
students
did not pass out that, it will Correct your spelling
affect
effect
more to their profit.
Correct your spelling
affect
While
others think that it is an important object to help students
relax. For example
, more students
have to get pressure from parents, teachers and more
others, they were not made anything which they love, so Correct quantifier usage
apply
final
, they will choose the best way to free, and Change the word
finally
that is
the major reason why the number of suicidal students
is increasing everyday
. Replace the word
every day
Furthermore
, that subject can help students
earn more money. More people
just think that studying good main subjects in school brings more opportunities for children in the future, but in the modern, humans can see clearly that more painters can find
more Verb problem
earn
100.000
Change preposition
than 100.000
dollar
with a picture, so earning money Change to a plural noun
dollars
by
that career is not difficult.
In conclusion, I think that it brings more negative and positive effects for Change preposition
from
people
, but I still agree with thatSubmitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
1. Improve your introduction for clarity: Rephrase the introduction to clearly state your position and briefly mention the main points you will discuss.
2. Strengthen your conclusion: Ensure the conclusion summarizes key points and clearly restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
1. Organize your points logically: Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, and support it with relevant examples or explanations.
2. Use linking words effectively: Use transitional phrases like 'on the other hand', 'furthermore', and 'therefore' to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
1. Attempt to provide arguments: You have made an attempt to present different perspectives on the topic, which is a good start.
2. Included a variety of reasons: You've mentioned multiple reasons for and against making art classes compulsory, showing a good level of thinking about the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.