Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be a good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, Some individuals believe that fathers and mothers have a great role in teaching their offspring to be good citizens and be part of society.

Whereas

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

think it is the

school

Use synonyms

facilties

Correct your spelling

facilities

job to do that. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion on

this

Linking Words

matter. On the one hand, there is no better teacher for

childern

Correct your spelling

children

than their parents, before kids can join

Change preposition

apply

show examples

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

, they are around their mothers all the time,and she teaches them how to communicate with

others

Use synonyms

and be

will-behaive

Correct your spelling

well-have

well-behave

children.

For example

Linking Words

, Kids learn from an early age how to act outside the house, like, play with

Use synonyms

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

childern

Correct your spelling

children

without causing problems and to be more kind and friendly to them.

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

the child will be socially accepted and will gain many friends that can

last

Linking Words

a lifetime.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

school

Use synonyms

community can teach

juvenails

Correct your spelling

juveniles

to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

of the community, by being around individuals

Change preposition

show examples

the same age, and

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

through interacting with each other

while

Linking Words

being supervised by teachers.

For instance

Linking Words

juvenails

Correct your spelling

juveniles

juvenile

learn how to socialise in the classroom and the playground.

In addition

Linking Words

, any student who acts poorly toward

others

Use synonyms

becomes isolated and disliked by students

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and is more likely to get punished by the

school

Use synonyms

board.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they learn from the

school

Use synonyms

environment how to be a good and likeable person.

Overall

Linking Words

school

Use synonyms

is a great place for boys and girls to learn socialising by interacting with other minors, and taking direction from teachers.

However

Linking Words

,I think it is the parents have the main role

Change preposition

show examples

school

Use synonyms

their offspring how to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

in society because they spend the majority of their time

preschoolschool

Correct your spelling

preschool school

with their

Correct your spelling

family family

familyfamily

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

members before entering

school

Use synonyms

neamaabdo90

May 22, 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Try to avoid repetition and aim for a clearer flow of ideas. Your introduction and conclusion are mostly clear, but the logical structure of your arguments could be improved by better organizing paragraphs. Consider using transition words and making sure each paragraph sticks to a main point.

Task Achievement

Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed comprehensively. Though you have responded to both views, some arguments could be further elaborated. Make sure to provide more specific examples that are well-integrated into your arguments to enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion and you address both views as required by the prompt. The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in providing a frame to your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

You make a good attempt at explaining both perspectives, providing examples and justification. This helps in strengthening your arguments and making your discussion more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
moral values
social norms
structured environment
cooperation
respect
communal responsibilities
decision-making
societal integration
consistent messages
cultural expectations
complementary roles

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be a good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Is teaching people aged 65 or above to use computers a good way to use government money, or is it a waste of time and resources? Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the enviroment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that parents have a great influence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?