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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think robots can improve human life in future, while others think robots may affect society in a bad way. Discuss both view points and give your opinion.

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In the modern world, new AI technologies
being
Add a missing verb
are being
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 created by scientists
such
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 as
robots
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. Some groups of
people
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 agree that
robots
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 can enhance
people
Use synonyms
's lives in the near future.
However
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, other groups think that there are some bad effects
to
Change preposition
on
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 society. In my opinion, there are enough positives to use
robots
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 for services. On the one hand, nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 multitude of
people
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 started buying and using servant
robots
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 in their home
life
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lives
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.
For example
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, you can encounter servant
robots
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 in service conditions in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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globalized countries.
Actuall
Correct your spelling
Actually
,
people
Use synonyms
 can engage in their own business without bothering because more chores or housework are performed by their
robots
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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 might take time for their relatives, close friends, and
also
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 children,
is
Correct pronoun usage
which is
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 the biggest
positives
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positive
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 of that.
On the other hand
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, there are some downsides
of
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to
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 using
robots
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 for
public
Add an article
the public
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. A common negative is that
the
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apply
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employment across factories can be
excepted
Verb problem
expected
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 to decrease by using
robots
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.
Therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 multitude of
people
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 might lose their jobs, and unemployment across the world will grow significantly.
Furthermore
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, we have watched movies about
robots
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, and the dark side of
robots
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 was revealed. If consciousness is formed in
robots
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, they will begin to think
similarly
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 with
people
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.
As a result
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, they might harm
to
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apply
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society, it is a theory which being learned by scientists. In my opinion, I believe that there are many benefits which outweigh the drawbacks. I agree to use servant
robots
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 at home
such
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 as in cleaning, and washing
instead
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 of
people
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. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
robots
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 can develop our human life,
however
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, others believe there are some downsides for society.
However
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, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with to
show examples
 use
Use synonyms
robots
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of robots
show examples
 in our lives.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, touching on both viewpoints and providing your opinion. However, you could strengthen your essays by adding more specific examples and expanding on your explanations.
task achievement
Work on clear and comprehensive presentation of ideas. Some of your arguments, while valid, could be better explained and more thoroughly developed. This would enhance the depth and clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay can be improved. While you have separated the essay into clear sections, some paragraphs could flow more smoothly. Improving transitions between ideas and paragraphs will help.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but you should provide more detailed evidence and examples. This will make your arguments more convincing and strengthen your essay overall.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which neatly frame your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your points.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which is a good way to fulfill the task requirement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • repetitive tasks
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • hazardous environments
  • healthcare
  • caregiving
  • job displacement
  • unemployment
  • dependence
  • technology
  • ethical concerns
  • human touch
  • misuse
  • privacy invasion
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • improve
  • affect
  • society
  • future
  • viewpoints
  • opinion
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