Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
these
Correct determiner usage
the
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modern day, environmental pollution is one of the problems which the governments and
citizens
Use synonyms
need the most attention. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for the
environment
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,
while
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others think that individuals ought to be care
of
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for
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. In my opinion,
while
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the government
to implement
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implements
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policies and regulations to protect the
environment
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, I believe that the public
have
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has
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a huge role in
this
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work. On the one hand, governments should impose some strict rules to protect it.
For example
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, governments should encourage
citizens
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Use synonyms
use
Add the particle
to use
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public transportation to avoid air pollution
due to
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emitted by vehicles.
Furthermore
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, it can
be allow
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allow
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the factories to
use
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renewable energy
instead
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of fossil fuel which can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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cause toxic emissions.
As a result
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, the rate of damage to the
environment
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can be reduced by the above actions.
On the other hand
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,
firstly
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,
citizens
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have daily habits and choices
significantly
Correct pronoun usage
that significantly
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impact the
environment
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. By adopting sustainable practices
such
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as recycling, reducing waste, and using energy-efficient
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
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, individuals can collectively make a huge difference.
For instance
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, the transportation people
use
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
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such
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as cars or motorbikes releases a large amount of CO2 into
air
Add an article
the air
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.
Therefore
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, they can
use
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public transportation to avoid air pollution.
Second,
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grassroots movements and community-led initiatives can be powerful drivers of environmental change. When individuals and groups come together to advocate for environmental protection, it can lead to significant community and even national-level change. In conclusion,
while
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the government has an important responsibility to protect the
environment
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by issuing laws, I believe that every
Use synonyms
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
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can easily save their surroundings by changing their small daily activities and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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part in volunteer work.
Submitted by anhpham.712688 on

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task achievement
While your essay addresses both sides of the argument, it could benefit from more in-depth analysis and additional specific examples to support your points more strongly.
task achievement
There were a few language inaccuracies and awkward phrases that could be refined. For example, "environmental pollution" can be more comprehensively discussed by stating various types like air, water, and soil pollution.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points though it could reinforce the essay’s argument. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is generally clear, but avoid repeating the same idea, such as the use of public transportation, in multiple places. Instead, use a wider range of examples and points.
task achievement
You provided a clear statement of your opinion and effectively highlighted the roles of both the government and citizens.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, making your argument clearer to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental protection
  • grassroots movements
  • community-led initiatives
  • policy implementation
  • regulations
  • funding
  • innovative solutions
  • collective effort
  • advocate
  • enforce laws
  • energy-efficient
  • reduce waste
  • recycling
  • sustainable outcomes
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