Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
these
modern day, environmental pollution is one of the problems which the governments and Correct determiner usage
the
citizens
need the most attention. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for the environment
, while
others think that individuals ought to be care of
. In my opinion, Change preposition
for
while
the government to implement
policies and regulations to protect the Change the verb form
implements
environment
, I believe that the public have
a huge role in Change the verb form
has
this
work.
On the one hand, governments should impose some strict rules to protect it. For example
, governments should encourage citizens
use
public transportation to avoid air pollution Add the particle
to use
due to
emitted by vehicles. Furthermore
, it can be allow
the factories to Change the verb form
allow
use
renewable energy instead
of fossil fuel which can be
cause toxic emissions. Unnecessary verb
apply
As a result
, the rate of damage to the environment
can be reduced by the above actions.
On the other hand
, firstly
, citizens
have daily habits and choices significantly
impact the Correct pronoun usage
that significantly
environment
. By adopting sustainable practices such
as recycling, reducing waste, and using energy-efficient appliance
, individuals can collectively make a huge difference. Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
For instance
, the transportation people use
everyday
Replace the word
every day
such
as cars or motorbikes releases a large amount of CO2 into air
. Add an article
the air
Therefore
, they can use
public transportation to avoid air pollution. Second,
grassroots movements and community-led initiatives can be powerful drivers of environmental change. When individuals and groups come together to advocate for environmental protection, it can lead to significant community and even national-level change.
In conclusion, while
the government has an important responsibility to protect the environment
by issuing laws, I believe that every citizens
can easily save their surroundings by changing their small daily activities and Change to a singular noun
citizen
take
part in volunteer work.Wrong verb form
taking
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task achievement
While your essay addresses both sides of the argument, it could benefit from more in-depth analysis and additional specific examples to support your points more strongly.
task achievement
There were a few language inaccuracies and awkward phrases that could be refined. For example, "environmental pollution" can be more comprehensively discussed by stating various types like air, water, and soil pollution.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points though it could reinforce the essay’s argument. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is generally clear, but avoid repeating the same idea, such as the use of public transportation, in multiple places. Instead, use a wider range of examples and points.
task achievement
You provided a clear statement of your opinion and effectively highlighted the roles of both the government and citizens.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, making your argument clearer to follow.