Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that the courses which teach
students
how to draw or paint are also
crucial
for the development of a child as other subjects, Rephrase
as crucial
therefore
, they ought to be required in high schools
. This
writer agrees that art
classes are as important as other disciplines, due to
these courses not only help improve the Change preposition
because
creativity
of children but also
help them relax.
Firstly
, attending art
classes is a good way to help children develop their creativity
, via their paintings, they draw everything that they want to, and create some creatures in their images. Moreover
, drawing and painting not only help students
improve their creativity
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
help them express their thoughts and feelings about something through their pictures. Additionally
, there are some researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show
that most people who have a wide range of achievements, Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
such
as Isaac Newton, or Leonardo da Vinci have a great passion for art
.
Furthermore
, teaching art
in high schools
also
helps students
relax after a long day at school. If students
take part in this
kind of course, they can stop thinking about studying or problems that they have. This
helps their brains avoid overloading and feel more comfortable. In addition
, there is an analysis that illustrates that most students
have a great score and become more active when they join the art
classes at their schools
.
In conclusion, drawing and painting play a crucial role in people's lives, especially students
like other subjects, and they must be added in high schools
to help students
relax and improve their creativity
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to further support your arguments, such as mentioning studies or specific instances where art education positively impacted students' lives.
coherence cohesion
Work on making the transitions between paragraphs smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay. For example, use linking words or phrases to connect your ideas more cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of similar ideas or phrases to maintain the reader's interest. Try to use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to add depth to your writing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a strong framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic effectively and provides a well-rounded argument supporting the importance of art education in high schools.
task achievement
The main points are clearly presented, and the essay maintains focus on the benefits of art classes, such as enhancing creativity and providing relaxation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.