IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

One Of Your Friends Recently Had A Birthday Celebration, But You Missed It And You Forgot To Tell Your Friend That You Couldn’t Attend. Write A Letter To Your Friend. In Your Letter: – Explain Why You Missed It – Explain Why You Didn’t Tell Your Friend – And Say What You Would Like To Do To Show That You Are Sorry

#friends #birthday #celebration #friend #couldn’t #didn’t #show
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Dear John, I hope
this
 letter finds you well in great health and in high spirits. I am writing
this
 letter to apologize for not making
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 your birthday party,
due to
 sudden circumstances. I'm pretty
assured
Correct word choice
sure
show examples
 that you'll understand my situation. As your birthday was on
5th
Correct article usage
the 5th
show examples
 of April and my sister got sick on that morning. I had to
took
Change the verb
take
show examples
 her to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
 immediately and after
doctor's
Correct article usage
the doctor's
show examples
checkup
Add a comma
checkup,
show examples
 We found that she
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a stone in her kidney and
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to hospitalize her right away for the
next
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
following days. I didn't inform you about
this
 as I
did't
Correct your spelling
didn't
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to spoil your mood on the best day of your life, but I'm thrilled to write
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
 that I have already booked a dinner table at
Boston
Correct article usage
the Boston
show examples
 Pizza store at 7 pm
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
next coming Monday to celebrate and have fun. We will not only have dinner but
also
 have fun games there to make the best night of your life. See you soon. Best wishes, Ravinder
Submitted by rk366704 on

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language
While your letter reads well overall, ensure proper use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'in great health and in high spirits' would be more fluid as 'in great health and high spirits.' Avoid minor grammatical errors like 'I had to took her'; it should be 'I had to take her.' Also, rephrase 'have to hospitalize' to 'had to be hospitalized.'
language
Ensure consistency with tense, for example, change 'have fun games' to 'play fun games.'
structure
Consider separating your ideas into clearer paragraphs to enhance readability (for instance, one paragraph could be dedicated entirely to explaining why you missed the party, another on why you didn't inform your friend, and a final one on how you plan to make it up to them).
tone
The greeting and closing are appropriately warm and friendly, which suits the purpose of the letter.
task response
The purpose of the letter is clearly stated and the explanation for missing the party is well-described, enhancing the task response.
task response
The suggestion to plan another celebration demonstrates a positive attitude and a clear intention to make amends.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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