In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons?Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #travel #differences #home #country #cities #world

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It was a hot trend when

people

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tended to travel to other

countries

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to discover the different issues

from

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show examples

their country.

However

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, it is becoming more and more alike to those which are metropolises.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore the

reasons

Use synonyms

behind

this

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phenomenon and in my opinion,

this

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issue

bings

Correct your spelling

brings

show examples

more benefits than drawbacks and the

reasons

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will be discussed as follows. It is possibly said that there are two main

reasons

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leading to

this

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change.

Firstly

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, globalization impacts on change of cities over the world. It is because.

People

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's needs

about

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for

show examples

communication, economy, and education are increasing quickly. The implication of

this

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is impulsing

teachnology

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technology

development which can help individuals

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show examples

the world to be closer, and even they are able to learn the lifestyles

each

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of each

show examples

other.

Secondly

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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economic

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

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among the nations

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

inevitable.

This

Linking Words

can be seen in developing

countries

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goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

usually invest and

upgradr

Correct your spelling

upgrade

cities

have

Fix the infinitive

to have

show examples

good conditions

such

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as mountains,

rivers

Correct word choice

and rivers

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in order to attract foreign tourists.

As a result

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, they use that money from those who are foreign visitors to develop their country. I strongly believe that the merits of alteration overshadow its downsides.

To begin

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with, it draws attention to other

countries

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around the world.

Due to

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technology and media development, there is an increasing number of

people

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becoming aware. A prime example of

this

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point is Toronto

city

Capitalize word

City

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in Canada,

Correct pronoun usage

which is

show examples

Change the article

the

show examples

strongest city

about

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show examples

economy and education. Through that, many

people

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from developing

countries

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have to come to work and settle down in Toronto.

Besides

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, language barriers can be dispensable.

Developed

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In developed

show examples

countries

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people

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tend to study new languages

each

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with each

show examples

other.

For example

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, Canada, France, and China are developed nations. If

people

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decide to study abroad or live in those, they must learn new languages like English, French, and Chinese.

Hence

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, they can communicate

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with

show examples

indigenous

people

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comfortably. In conclusion, globalization and economic

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

are two main

reasons

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leading to be same cities in different

countries

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. From my perspective,

this

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change is more pros than cons.

Submitted by Hungmap on Wed May 22 2024

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grammar

Some parts of the essay have grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'It was a hot trend when people tended to travel' should be 'In the past, it was common for people to travel.' Working on grammar and sentence structure can improve clarity.

examples

The essay should include more specific examples. While the example of Toronto is helpful, elaborating on how globalization has made cities similar in specific aspects like architecture, culture, etc., would strengthen the essay.

topic sentences

The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make the main points more obvious.

task achievement

The essay covers both parts of the prompt effectively, discussing the reasons for cities becoming similar and whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

structure

The introduction clearly presents the main idea and sets up the structure of the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective.

logical arguments

The arguments made are logical and are mostly well-developed, making the essay easier to follow.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

globalization
cultural assimilation
multinational companies
technological advancement
transferable
homogenization
international visitors
urbanization
infrastructure
architectural styles
public spaces
economic opportunities
cultural exchange
local identity
diversity
cultural homogenization

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In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons?Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some say that cars should be banned from city centres. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.