IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons?Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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It was a hot trend when
people
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 tended to travel to other
countries
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 to discover the different issues
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their country.
However
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, it is becoming more and more alike to those which are metropolises.
This
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 essay will explore the
reasons
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 behind
this
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 phenomenon and in my opinion,
this
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 issue
bings
Correct your spelling
brings
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 more benefits than drawbacks and the
reasons
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 will be discussed as follows. It is possibly said that there are two main
reasons
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 leading to
this
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 change.
Firstly
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, globalization impacts on change of cities over the world. It is because.
People
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's needs
about
Change preposition
for
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 communication, economy, and education are increasing quickly. The implication of
this
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 is impulsing
teachnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 development which can help individuals
on
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in
show examples
 the world to be closer, and even they are able to learn the lifestyles
each
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of each
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 other.
Secondly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
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 among the nations
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 inevitable.
This
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 can be seen in developing
countries
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,
goverments
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governments
government
 usually invest and
upgradr
Correct your spelling
upgrade
 cities
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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 good conditions
such
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 as mountains,
rivers
Correct word choice
and rivers
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 in order to attract foreign tourists.
As a result
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, they use that money from those who are foreign visitors to develop their country. I strongly believe that the merits of alteration overshadow its downsides.
To begin
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 with, it draws attention to other
countries
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 around the world.
Due to
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 technology and media development, there is an increasing number of
people
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 becoming aware. A prime example of
this
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 point is Toronto
city
Capitalize word
City
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 in Canada,
is
Correct pronoun usage
which is
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a
Change the article
the
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 strongest city
about
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in
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 economy and education. Through that, many
people
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 from developing
countries
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 have to come to work and settle down in Toronto.
Besides
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, language barriers can be dispensable.
Developed
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In developed
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countries
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,
people
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 tend to study new languages
each
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with each
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 other.
For example
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, Canada, France, and China are developed nations. If
people
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 decide to study abroad or live in those, they must learn new languages like English, French, and Chinese.
Hence
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, they can communicate
to
Change preposition
with
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 indigenous
people
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 comfortably. In conclusion, globalization and economic
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
 are two main
reasons
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 leading to be same cities in different
countries
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. From my perspective,
this
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 change is more pros than cons.

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grammar
Some parts of the essay have grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'It was a hot trend when people tended to travel' should be 'In the past, it was common for people to travel.' Working on grammar and sentence structure can improve clarity.
examples
The essay should include more specific examples. While the example of Toronto is helpful, elaborating on how globalization has made cities similar in specific aspects like architecture, culture, etc., would strengthen the essay.
topic sentences
The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make the main points more obvious.
task achievement
The essay covers both parts of the prompt effectively, discussing the reasons for cities becoming similar and whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
structure
The introduction clearly presents the main idea and sets up the structure of the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective.
logical arguments
The arguments made are logical and are mostly well-developed, making the essay easier to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural assimilation
  • multinational companies
  • technological advancement
  • transferable
  • homogenization
  • international visitors
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • architectural styles
  • public spaces
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural exchange
  • local identity
  • diversity
  • cultural homogenization
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