In some countries, a high proportion of crime is done by teenagers. Why is this? What can be done to solve this?

#countries #proportion #crime #teenagers

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It is true that the rate of juvenile

crime

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is high in certain countries.

This

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writer believes that

this

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is because of poor parental upbringing and adverse financial situation,

while

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this

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can be addressed by the provision of free

education

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. Central to

this

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issue is bad parental

education

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causing juvenile

crime

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This

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is primarily attributed to irresponsible

parents

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who are either overly lenient or unreasonably strict.

As a result

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, children may be inclined to engage in rebellious behaviour or criminal activities as a means of expressing defiance against their

parents

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For example

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teenagers

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whose

parents

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do not care much about their moral

education

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will likely perform illegal actions. Another aspect worth considering is worse financial background. When a child's family is unable to provide for their basic needs, the child may feel compelled to seek alternative means of supporting themselves and their family. Combined with labour regulations, children who are underage and unable to meet the legal requirements for employment may resort to joining illegal groups or organizations to earn money to support their

parents

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This

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can be easily seen in many countries where bank robbery or petty

crime

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teenagers

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wanting to help their families are the norm.

However

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this

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can be solved by the government applying free

education

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schemes. These incentives should be targeted towards areas identified as breeding grounds for

crime

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to maximize their effectiveness. By

this

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method,

teenagers

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whose educational and financial backgrounds are bad will be able to acknowledge laws, legislations and alternative but legal ways to help their families with monetary burdens.

Therefore

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crime

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teenagers

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will be committed less. Taking all points into account,

this

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phenomenon is believed to be rooted in worse upbringing by

parents

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and monetary background.

Hence

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, governments applying no-fee

education

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programmes will be a viable solution.

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coherence cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion, consider revising your topic sentences so they clearly represent the main idea of each paragraph. This will help your reader follow your argument more easily.

task response

Develop your ideas further by providing more specific examples and elaborating on how free education can address the underlying causes of juvenile crime. This will strengthen your argument and provide a clearer picture of your solutions.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which provides a good structure to the response.

task response

You have effectively identified poor parental upbringing and adverse financial situations as core reasons for juvenile crime, showing a logical approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

297 words

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In some countries, a high proportion of crime is done by teenagers. Why is this? What can be done to solve this?

Fully explain your ideas

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some countries pay high salaries to its employees. It is argued that countries must not do it and impose limits on salaries. Do you agree or disagree ?

In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society

Reserarch show that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. what is the causes of this ? what can be done ?