-Some parents believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used later in life. Discuss both views.
A considerable amount of
people
commented that giving knowledge about the maths
subject to primary school students should reduce
,Wrong verb form
be reduced
whereas
many individuals said mathematics should consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
foundational
subject whether it Correct article usage
a foundational
helpful
or not in the future time. Both Add a missing verb
is helpful
the
viewpoints are discussed in the Correct article usage
apply
further
paragraphs.
To begin
with, supporters of the first viewpoints have their own stances. The first and foremost is that
development of digital technology. To elaborate, many parents believe that in Correct determiner usage
the
this
modern era, schools should focus to enhance
Change preposition
on enhancing
child's
computer and digital skills rather than spending time Fix the agreement mistake
children's
in
teaching Change preposition
apply
maths
. For instance
, I read one article in newspaper
, Add an article
a newspaper
the newspaper
it
mentioned that parents are more keen to teach their pupils about Correct pronoun usage
that
the
new gadgets in spite of school subjects. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, another significant factor is this
subject is boring in comparison with other courses. In that
, many Change preposition
That
people
noticed that children found maths
is
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to be
complicated
area of study Add an article
a complicated
as well
as
they believe there Correct word choice
and
is
Wrong verb form
would be
nos
use Correct your spelling
no
of
Change preposition
for
maths
in the future.
However
, many people
believe that mathematics still has the
significant role in Correct article usage
a
the
children's Correct article usage
apply
life
, so it is better to not avoid that area in learning. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Firstly
, maths
is the core branch of study and it helps to understand the
basic calculations Correct article usage
apply
as well as
financial planning in later
part of Add an article
the later
life
. Furthermore
, every sector requires the
basic knowledge of Correct article usage
apply
maths
such
as,
business,bank and hospital departments. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, if person
wants to buy a home on loan, Add an article
a person
the person
that
Correct word choice
apply
it
will require to have Correct pronoun usage
they
he
she
idea
about interest rates and their calculations. Add an article
an idea
Therefore
, schools should not stop giving lectures about mathematics.
In conclusion, it is observed that how technology has been overlapping the use of maths
in contemporary
era, Add an article
the contemporary
while
people
should not forget the value of maths
in children's day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
life
and later part
of Fix the agreement mistake
parts
life
.Submitted by pp6859 on
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coherence
Work on organizing your arguments more logically. Ensure each main point clearly supports your argument.
cohesion
Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence. This helps the reader understand the main point of the paragraph immediately.
task response
When providing examples, try to make them more specific and directly related to the point you are making. This strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
task response
Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Proofread your work or have someone else read it to catch mistakes.
coherence
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps provide a clear structure to your argument.
task response
You have addressed both viewpoints, which is crucial for this type of essay. This shows your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?