Some parents believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used later in life. Discuss both views.
A considerable amount of
people
commented that giving knowledge about the maths
subject to primary school students should be reduced,whereas
many individuals said mathematics should be considered a foundational subject whether it is helpful or not in the future time. Both viewpoints are discussed in the further
paragraphs.
To begin
with, supporters of the first viewpoints have their own stances. The first and foremost is the development of digital technology. To elaborate, many parents believe that in this
modern era, schools should focus on enhancing children
's computer and digital skills rather than spending time in
teaching Change preposition
apply
maths
. For instance
, I read one article in the newspaper, that mentioned that parents are more keen to teach their pupils about new gadgets in spite of school subjects. Moreover
, another significant factor is this
subject is boring in comparison with other courses. That
Correct determiner usage
apply
,
many Remove the comma
apply
people
noticed that children
found maths
to be a complicated area of study as well they believe
there would be no use for Wrong verb form
believed
maths
in the future.
However
, many people
believe that mathematics still has a significant role in children
's lives, so it is better to not avoid that area in learning. Firstly
, maths
is the core branch of study and it helps to understand basic calculations as well as
financial planning in the later part of life. Furthermore
, every sector requires basic knowledge of maths
such
as business,bank and hospital departments. For example
, if a person wants to buy a home on loan, than
he will Replace the word
then
require
to have an idea about interest rates and their calculations. Wrong verb form
be required
Therefore
, schools should not stop giving lectures about mathematics.
In conclusion, it is observed that how technology has been overlapping the use of maths
in the contemporary era, while
people
should not forget the value of maths
in children
's day-to-day life and later parts of life.Submitted by pp6859 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, but there are some logical inconsistencies and lack of depth in certain arguments. For example, you could expand more on why digital skills could potentially replace the need for math in the future.
Task Achievement
There are some grammatical and lexical errors that slightly impede the clarity of your ideas. Make sure to proofread your work to correct these errors. For instance, 'maths' should be 'math,' 'in spite of' should be 'instead of,' and 'than' should be 'then.'
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and both introduction and conclusion are present, but the transition between ideas could be smoother. Try using transition phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'however' to make your arguments flow better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. For instance, when talking about the importance of math in everyday life, you could use more real-life scenarios or statistical data.
Introduction
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the two viewpoints, which gives a good first impression.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced view on the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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