IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Internet has advantages and disadvantages.Do you agree or disagree?

#internet
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
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likes
Wrong verb form
is like
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 big
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
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 or enormous shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
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. But it is on
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
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.
Internet
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The Internet
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 gives
following
Change the article
the following
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 opportunity. We share information
by
Change preposition
on
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Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
In addition
, we play a game and
chatting
Wrong verb form
chat
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 with our friends on
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the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. Some benefits are given to people by
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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. After
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 appears, it is
important
Add an article
an important
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 part of our life. Nowadays people can not imagine their life without
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. Coz it
is
Verb problem
plays
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 playing significant role in our
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. Use to
internet
 for only true goals.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This will help in organizing your thoughts better. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and your opinion. Follow this with body paragraphs that elaborate on your points and examples. End with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
The essay should address both the advantages and disadvantages of the internet to fully answer the prompt. Currently, it primarily focuses on the advantages. Consider balancing the essay by discussing some of the downsides of internet use as well.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific ways in which the internet has changed tasks at work or specific examples of information-sharing.
task achievement
Your essay does highlight some important benefits of the internet, stressing its significant role in modern life.
coherence cohesion
The use of comparisons, like referring to the Internet as a 'big library' or an 'enormous shopping mall,' is a good way to help readers visualize your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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