today more and more people want things instantly. why is this? is it a positive or negative development?
In the modern era, exponentially more
poeple
want to achieve Correct your spelling
people
may
things at once. Correct your spelling
many
This
writer believe
that Change the verb form
believes
this
is a negative development, as rushing could lead to potential
mental breakdown and exhaustion of crucial resources.
It is vital to understand that rushing in on every Add an article
a potential
aspects
of life will lead to Change to a singular noun
aspect
potential
breakdown of an individual mentality. Add an article
the potential
a potential
Due to
the fact that a human mind is always in a rush to complete anything at an instant will
occupy all of a Correct pronoun usage
that will
person
thoughts, they will barely be able to think for themselves. Change noun form
person's
Thus
, stress will be inuduced
and accumulated even more leading to many psychological symptoms. Correct your spelling
induced
As a result
, person
who contracted these symptoms will have to Add an article
the person
a person
do
check Unnecessary verb
apply
up with
their state of Change preposition
on
mentality
, costing them time and money.
Another point that Replace the word
mind
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
the
Correct article usage
apply
considerationis
that, with the hustle and bustle of modern life, many industries have to increase their rate of manufacturing in order to cope with Correct your spelling
consideration is
considerations
consideration
evergrowing
demand of Correct article usage
the evergrowing
the
customers. Correct article usage
apply
Consequently
leading to a much more rapid exhaustion of important materials such
as oil, steel, etc, causing a halt to progression. There are many record
of important industries Change to a plural noun
records
gone
Wrong verb form
going
bankrupted
because they Change the form of the verb
bankrupt
cannot
with the Wrong verb form
could not
grwing
demands of many people, making Correct your spelling
growing
economies
of many nations decline significantly.
In conclusion, the Correct article usage
the economies
habits
of rushing is something that humanity should give up as it could lead to mental breakdown and faster depletion of resources.Fix the agreement mistake
habit
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task, addressing both the reasons behind the desire for instant results and its negative impacts. However, providing more specific examples would strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. While you've done well in maintaining a clear structure, transitions between ideas can be smoother. For example, linking the first point about mental breakdown directly to the second point about resource depletion could improve cohesion.
general
Be mindful of grammatical errors and typos, such as 'poeple,' 'may things,' 'inuduced,' 'considerationis,' 'evergrowing,' etc. These errors can distract the reader and reduce the clarity of your arguments.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments effectively.
task achievement
The main points you have chosen are relevant and directly address the topic, showcasing a sound understanding of the question.
coherence
The essay conveys a strong opinion that is consistently maintained throughout, contributing to a cohesive argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.