University students should acquire specialist knowledge and skills in one subject area rather than study a wider range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people say
university
students
mast
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
study
knowledge and
skills
in one
subject
area, but in my opinion, I think
students
should face more different knowledge and
skills
. I think
students
study
in
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
maybe they don’t know what kind of
subject
they like and
also
don’t know what they will major in the future. So, at
this
time they need to join in different
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
to make sure what
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they like and which one
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they want to
study
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
For instance
, my
university
major is computer science, I’m lucky that I
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
find my favorite major before I
admission
Wrong verb form
was admitted
show examples
to
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
. But our school
also
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
us some other
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
, I found that I enjoyed the management course as well, so I intend to
study
management as a graduate student.
Moreover
,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
a wider range of subjects can make
students
have different minds to think and solve problems. After
students
finish their course, they need to find a work for their life. In
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
is not as same as
school
Change preposition
in school
show examples
,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
should have many different
skills
to make sure they can get a job. That’s why I think
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
should give
students
different
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
,
students
need to practice their own
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
for the future.
For example
, more
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
recruit
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hope
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can do more work, so if
students
don’t have
distinct
Add an article
the distinct
show examples
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
they will lose
chance
Correct pronoun usage
their chance
show examples
in
this
work. In conclusion,
although
many people think that
students
should learn in one
subject
area, I believe different
subject
skills
and knowledge can help
students
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
life.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to make your essay more polished. Some sentences are confusing and affect the overall clarity.
development
Ensure the main points are equally supported throughout the essay. The arguments could be more evenly developed to provide stronger support for your opinion.
structure
You have provided an introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your opinion and summarizing your main points.
examples
The examples given, such as your personal experience in university, help make your argument more relatable and concrete.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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