University students should acquire specialist knowledge and skills in one subject area rather than study a wider range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people say
university
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students
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mast
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
study
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knowledge and
skills
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in one
subject
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area, but in my opinion, I think
students
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should face more different knowledge and
skills
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. I think
students
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study
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in
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
maybe they don’t know what kind of
subject
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they like and
also
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don’t know what they will major in the future. So, at
this
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time they need to join in different
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subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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to make sure what
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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they like and which one
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they want to
study
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
For instance
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, my
university
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major is computer science, I’m lucky that I
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
find my favorite major before I
admission
Wrong verb form
was admitted
show examples
to
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university
Add an article
the university
a university
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. But our school
also
Linking Words
give
Wrong verb form
gave
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us some other
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subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
, I found that I enjoyed the management course as well, so I intend to
study
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management as a graduate student.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
a wider range of subjects can make
students
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have different minds to think and solve problems. After
students
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finish their course, they need to find a work for their life. In
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
is not as same as
school
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in school
show examples
,
individual
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individuals
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should have many different
skills
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to make sure they can get a job. That’s why I think
Use synonyms
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
university
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universities
show examples
should give
students
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different
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
,
students
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need to practice their own
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
for the future.
For example
Linking Words
, more
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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recruit
employer
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employers
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that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hope
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can do more work, so if
students
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don’t have
distinct
Add an article
the distinct
show examples
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
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they will lose
chance
Correct pronoun usage
their chance
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
work. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
many people think that
students
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should learn in one
subject
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area, I believe different
subject
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skills
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and knowledge can help
students
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
life.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to make your essay more polished. Some sentences are confusing and affect the overall clarity.
development
Ensure the main points are equally supported throughout the essay. The arguments could be more evenly developed to provide stronger support for your opinion.
structure
You have provided an introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your opinion and summarizing your main points.
examples
The examples given, such as your personal experience in university, help make your argument more relatable and concrete.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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