IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plan #health #centre #b #place #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The plans illustrate the development of a
health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 from 2005 to the present day. The
health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 has seen significant conversion
overall
.
In addition
, a lot of amenities have been constructed and removed. First of all, the only room which remained unchanged in the
health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 since 2005 is the physiotherapy room. There is an extra minor operation room being added next to it,
thus
 the size of the garden has been decreased. In the present day, there are more seats available to the patients than there were in 2005.
In addition
, there are 4 consulting rooms now compared to that in the year 2005 which had only 3 rooms. The main entrance is, noticeably, shifted to the bottom left corner of the
health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 with an additional children’s play area. The reception desk is now placed near the entrance which is opposite the children’s play area.
Lastly
, the car park slots have been increased to 30 spaces in the present day from only 12 spaces in the year 2005.
Submitted by k2englishcenter on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion could be more clearly defined. While the introduction is present, the essay could benefit from a stronger concluding sentence or a summary to tie the points together.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all points are clearly connected and the progression from one idea to the next is smooth. For instance, use transitional phrases to enhance the flow between comparing different years.
Task Achievement
Provide slightly more detailed descriptions of changes where possible. Your overall response is strong, but additional specific examples or comparisons could help to fully illustrate the transformation of the health center.
Task Achievement
The essay covers all main changes presented in the plans, displaying a complete response to the task.
Task Achievement
Ideas are articulated clearly and comprehensively. The reader can easily understand the transformations that took place.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are well-supported throughout the essay, allowing the reader to visualize the changes efficiently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!