IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem.What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

#cities #towns #world #volume #traffic #actions
In the present age, how the concerns about the high volume of
traffic
 could be dealt with has sparked much debate. The primary reason we need to take into consideration is
hectic
Correct article usage
the hectic
show examples
 plans of companies and schools leading to the mind-blowing amount of cars gathering in the streets. Having taken the measures like the improvement in
every day
Correct your spelling
everyday
show examples
 arrangements or sponsorship of cycling routes and public
transport
, the issue could be managed. Most importantly, spending hours in a
traffic
 jam is brought about by the tight schedule in most of the jobs or schools. More specifically, if the timetables of businesses or educational institutions weren‘t so strict, the scale of
traffic
 jams would be reduced.
Therefore
, the flexibility of working hours,
as well as
timings
Correct article usage
the timings
show examples
 of lessons should be the best possible solution.
For instance
, after the lockdown of
coronavirus
Correct article usage
the coronavirus
show examples
 pandemic had come to an end, the employers didn‘t demand their workers to start their tasks precisely at 8 o‘clock and finish at 5 o‘clock or even come to an office on a daily basis.
As a result
,
traffic
 jams were avoided and
hardly no
Rewrite the sentence
hardly any
no
show examples
 time had to be wasted sitting in the car.
Secondly
, the popularity of cars has risen immensely in the
last
 few decades as their accessibility has incredibly increased which frequently causes blockage of automobiles.
However
,
this
 issue wouldn‘t be minimized unless more people chose to catch a train, bus, metro or
drive
Verb problem
ride
show examples
 a bike. Essentially, the financial support for public
transport
,
as well as
 society‘s awareness to take advantage
from
Change preposition
of
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 it, is needed.
For example
, since the action of counting steps began, the tendency to reach a destination on foot rather than by car has become more popular, especially among inhabitants of the city centre.
Thus
, more and more citizens find it sensible to opt for a walk or a bicycle
instead
 of ending up in a
transport
 blockage.
To sum up
,
busy
Correct article usage
the busy
show examples
 and precise schedules of employees and students,
as well as
 the growth of
cars‘
Change noun form
cars
show examples
 drivers, are the main causes of daily long queues of cars that are barely moving. Alterations of the current timetables,
in addition
 to the investment in infrastructure of public
transport
 and social consciousness regarding the issue could be the means to tackle
this
 problem.
Submitted by oimigle on

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style
Ensure that you maintain a formal tone throughout your essay. Some phrases like 'mind-blowing amount of cars' can be replaced with more formal expressions such as 'substantial volume of cars.'
grammar
Review your use of articles and singular/plural nouns for a more accurate grammar. For instance, change 'a bicycle' to 'bicycles' when talking in general about using bicycles as a transport alternative.
examples
Work on providing more specific examples to reinforce your points. This can help to make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
task response
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the causes and potential solutions to the problem of high traffic volume.
structure
The structure of the essay is logical and effective. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect, leading to a clear development of the argument.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong, providing a good framing for the essay and summarizing the main points effectively.
vocabulary
The essay includes relevant vocabulary and makes an effort to use varied sentence structures, contributing to its overall readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urbanization
  • car ownership
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion pricing
  • population growth
  • commute
  • sustainable transport
  • traffic management
  • ride-sharing
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