Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. why do you think that is the case. what isn the most importing thing to do succeed in life?
In many societies, obtaining formal education is a must and parents tend to measure
children
capability from their scores in Change noun form
children's
school
. However
, there are proofs where individual
that failed in Add an article
the individual
an individual
school
still getting
Verb problem
apply
success
in Replace the word
succeed
worklife
and there is a possible answer to these Correct your spelling
work life
work-life
case
. Fix the agreement mistake
cases
While
formal education uquip
Correct your spelling
equip
equips
people
with initial
Add an article
the initial
knowledge
, there are essential things that has
Change the verb form
have
significant
part Add an article
a significant
to
Change preposition
in
being
Correct your spelling
bring
Add an article
a success
success
in Replace the word
successful
life
.
Formal schools are places to educate people
with theoritical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
knowledge
in curriculum
Add an article
a curriculum
the curriculum
that is
prepared by the government. These subjects such
as math and science are used to measure the quality of children
Change noun form
children's
knowledge
, while
it
is no doubt that Correct pronoun usage
there
people
have a lot of ability
other than what is taught in formal Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
school
. For example
, there are people
that
struggle with math but have talent in communication Correct pronoun usage
who
skill
or design. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Thus
, proper education in school
can not be a measurement of people
's capability because it is
only Unnecessary verb
apply
teach
us about certain Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
while
in reality, especially in worklife
, Correct your spelling
work life
work-life
these
Change the determiner
this knowledge
knowledge
only contribute
to a Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
little
amount of Correct word choice
small
success
.
Many have said that softskills
are the important thing to Correct your spelling
soft skills
success
in life
, however
there are a lot of Add a comma
however,
softskills
Correct your spelling
soft skills
such
us communcation
, adaptability and Correct your spelling
communication
ressilence
. In Correct your spelling
resilience
society
that quickly changing, Add an article
a society
people
must be able to adapt with
the new environment and always learn new Change preposition
to
thing
because well educated does not guarantee that Fix the agreement mistake
things
people
can adaptation
easily. Replace the word
adapt
For example
, in worklife
we require to have certain technical Correct your spelling
work life
work-life
skill
, Fix the agreement mistake
skills
however
to climb higher Add the comma(s)
however,
position
mentality and Fix the agreement mistake
positions
softskill
are notable Correct your spelling
soft skill
soft-skill
soft skills
thing
to have. Fix the agreement mistake
things
Therefore
, it is important to have softskill
other than Correct your spelling
soft skills
knowledge
from formal
Add an article
a formal
school
.
To conclude
, failing in school
does not mean that people
are going to fail in life
because school
only teach Add an article
the school
theoritical knowledger
and it is up to us to implement it in daily Correct your spelling
theoretical knowledge
life
. Therefore
, the important thing to have is softskill
to keep us adaptable Correct your spelling
soft skill
soft-skill
with
Change preposition
to
life
that is
always changing.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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grammatical issue
There are a few grammatical and spelling errors that should be corrected to improve readability. For example, 'uquip' should be 'equip' and 'ressilence' should be 'resilience'. Also, some sentences are a bit awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.
supporting examples
Consider expanding on and providing more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
logical flow
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Although the essay has a decent structure, it can be made more compelling by better transitions between main points.
task response
The essay attempts to address both parts of the question and provides a reasonable explanation for why some people succeed despite failing in school.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and generally well-defined, providing a clear frame for the essay.
content depth
You touch upon important aspects like the limitations of formal education and the significance of soft skills, which adds depth to your response.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?