IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

some country pay extremely high salaries for people. Some people believe that the country must not do that and make a limit for the salaries. Do you agree or disagree.

#country #salaries #people #limit
Nowadays, some regions in the world have been paying significantly high salaries for their citizens. I totally disagree with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will be explaining my opinion.
Firstly
, exploring new technologies and some specialities requires motivating people who are working in those fields to
ensur
Correct your spelling
ensure
the highest level of creativity and
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
 their passion.
For example
, some experts deal with artificial intelligence (AI) , and other medical specialities
such
 as microsurgery and
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
respectively.
Furthermore
, in
this
 era, life expenses and bills are too high. So, to compensate high costs of living, citizens's income must be at the same level.
For instance
, phone and internet bills
although
 periodic maintenance of a car, fuel bills and other expenses. In conclusion, governments pay high salaries to their employees. To overcome
this
 problem, they need to treat the economic inflation to reduce living costs.
Submitted by afnan.sa1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Enhance transitions between paragraphs to ensure smoother flow of ideas. This will improve the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Develop the body paragraphs further with additional details and examples to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Improve the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay and explicitly restating your stance on the issue. This helps to effectively wrap up the essay.
task achievement
The essay has a clear stance and addresses the prompt directly, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps provide structure to the essay.
task achievement
Some relevant examples were mentioned, adding depth to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • equitable distribution
  • economic well-being
  • social tensions
  • instability
  • meritocracy
  • top talent
  • innovation
  • government intervention
  • excessive greed
  • exploitation
  • market determination
  • incentives
  • motivation
  • tax revenues
  • public services
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: