IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It has been said that reading for pleasure is better in developing imagination and language skills than watching T.V. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is
a
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thought that the feeling of enjoyment from reading is better for creativity and vocabulary than watching TV.
This
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 essay strongly agrees with
this
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 suggestion because interpreting the plot and
story
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 is usually required to read a
book
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.
Also
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, the
book
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 contains detailed language that can be valuable in broadening vocabulary. Because of the visuals and sound in movies or TV shows, viewers' personal interpretations can be limited. Meanwhile, with
books
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, the plot of the
story
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 is only supported by words.
Consequently
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, everyone can make their own imagination with the plot and the
story
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 to their liking
while
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 reading a
book
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.
For example
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, when people read
the
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"Lord of the Rings", their experiences of reading scenes involving strange creatures and weird places can be different from each other because they have their own thoughts about how the
story
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 may look and sound.
Furthermore
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, without visuals and music, the writer will put extra words and vocabulary in
books
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.
This
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 is needed to help them describe situations and set the tone of the
book
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 to make the
story
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 alive.
Hence
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,
books
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 are much more detailed than films. Usually, a film lasts approximately two hours,
while
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 in a
book
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, there can be hundreds (maybe thousands) of pages of description.
For example
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, the series called "Game of Thrones" was criticized for its lack of depth in certain characters compared to the
books
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. In conclusion, reading is a better tool for everyone to help them improve their creativity skills and
further
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 expand their wording ability.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance the logical flow of your arguments. The paragraphs are generally well-organized, but clearer topic sentences can make the structure even more robust.
task achievement
Although your examples are relevant, adding a bit more detail to them could make your arguments more persuasive. Try to elaborate more on how the examples support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which clearly state the position and summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
The response thoroughly addresses the topic, providing clear arguments and examples to support the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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