Government should spend money on railways rather than roads . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued by some that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should consider a huge fund for
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
rather than roads. I completely agree with
this
opinion and in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will state the reasons for my view. The first and foremost reason for holding to my view is that
trasnportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
with trains
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
brought ease and comfort for
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
because the
train
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
access to some facilities and amenities.
For instance
, trains provide restaurants, clubs, toilets and so on. Another reason that
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
noteworthy is the fact that the proportion of
accidents
somewhere
trains
Change preposition
on trains
show examples
is negligible number compared to
car
accidents
.
Additionally
, the mortality rate is by far the lowest regarding
train
accidents
.
In contrast
, human
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
of people truly face
dangerous
Replace the word
danger
show examples
when they drive with
car
,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in developing countries because of unsafe cars.
Furthermore
, bad climates can cause
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
more problems during traveling
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
car
.
Lastly
, it is interesting to note that
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
tickets
Change preposition
of tickets
show examples
is dramatically economical as to
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
. Because individuals have to spend a lot of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
other things
for example
fuel,
car
checking and so on, meanwhile, they can save
this
money for other aspects like food,
entertaiments
Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertainments
and stuff like that. In conclusion, I certainly agree with
this
view because of providing good facilities and amenities by
train
system and
also
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
without stress regarding
accidents
and saving money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
train
Add an article
a train
show examples
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
. Given
this
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
, it is recommended that
goverments desgin
Correct your spelling
governments design
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
more railway systems around countries and
also
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
a huge fund for
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
system.
Submitted by hs.abdolhay70 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Check for small grammatical errors and typos to improve readability (e.g., 'trasnportaion' should be 'transportation', 'lifes' should be 'lives').
Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow within paragraphs. For instance, link sentences together more clearly to ensure smooth reading and understanding.
Examples
Expand on examples. Provide specific illustrations or data to make points more compelling and relatable.
Vocabulary
Improve vocabulary variety by avoiding repetitive phrases and incorporating more sophisticated terms.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader.
Relevance
The main points are relevant and align well with the topic.
Structure
The essay is structured into distinct paragraphs which makes it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: