Many people think that libraries are essential for society. Others, however, disagree and say that it is more practical to access information on computers, while libraries are a waste of money and resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People are calling into question the usefulness of current traditional
libraries
. While
some assert that they are inseparable
part of the public’s life, others dismiss them as a Add an article
an inseparable
complete
unnecessary place Change the word
completely
due to
the advent of computers
. Both sides of argument
present rational ideas, which will be elaborated.
On the one hand, supporters of conventional Correct article usage
the argument
libraries
advocate that the benefits accruing from them are by no means negligible. To begin
with, they provide job opportunities and eliminating them makes a number of people jobless and as a result
, poverty grows. For example
, librarian or staff lose their job and cannot be able to make a living since they do not receive salary
. Add an article
a salary
Furthermore
, paper-based books
are needed regardless of the
technological progress. Correct article usage
apply
That is
to say, there are some parts of society who
cannot use Correct pronoun usage
that
computers
and physical books
are essential to meet their needs. Take older
generation as an example, it is highly likely that Correct article usage
the older
elderlies
have not been taught to work with Fix the agreement mistake
the elderly
computers
so libraries
may make
an important role in their gaining knowledge.
Verb problem
play
On the other hand
, others put forward the argument that libraries
are wasting government's
funding Correct article usage
the government's
as well as
putting environment
in jeopardy Add an article
the environment
while
computers
are not. The most compelling reason justifying their assertion is that,
preserving Remove the comma
apply
books
in the library is expensive. In other words
, in comparison with computers
, there are plenty of expenses that must be done by authorities in order to keep books
in it . For instance
, the maintaining
cost and staff's salary need Replace the word
maintenance
a
significant funding though upkeeping Remove the article
apply
computers
is easier and reasonable. In addition
, a lot of copies of a book is
required to cover the individuals' Correct subject-verb agreement
are
need
and plenty of natural resources like wood comes from cutting down trees, are consumed to reach Fix the agreement mistake
needs
this
goal while
it
is not the case for Correct pronoun usage
this
computers
which do not use any natural materials.
To conclude
, there are logical points on both sides; However
, I am of the opinion that computer-based book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
is
more convenient and efficient. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
This
is mainly because they are more economic
and Replace the word
economical
echo-friendly
.Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
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task achievement
You did a great job of addressing both sides of the argument and providing a balanced view. To improve further, make sure to vary your sentence structures to avoid repetition and engage the reader more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, there are some minor errors that affect flow. For example, phrases like 'accruing from them are by no means negligible' could be simplified for better readability. Continue to work on transitioning smoothly between ideas for a more coherent essay.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance the clarity of your ideas, ensure that each paragraph is dedicated to a single point. Also, refining some sentences could make your arguments clearer. For instance, 'cannot be able to make a living' can be simplified to 'cannot make a living'.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction clearly sets up the discussion and presents both sides of the argument effectively. Well done!
supported main points
You have used relevant examples to illustrate your points, which enriches your arguments.
introduction and conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussed points and provides a clear opinion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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