Some people belive that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people belive that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affects them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals think that
give
the freedom Wrong verb form
giving
of
make a decision to Change preposition
to
children
, for themselves, can be automatically a result of a community of people
who think just in one way, their own way. Whereas
, others argue that it is better if they learn how to make a choice
, but just in order to satisfy their own primary needs. In this
essay
I will explain both points of view.
Many Add a comma
essay,
people
claim that if children
started
to make Wrong verb form
start
choice
freely, they will Fix the agreement mistake
choices
be act
as selfish Change the verb form
act
people
in their
future. The latter is the possible Change the word
the
coensequence
after that some adults leave them Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
choose
by themselves with any rules. Add the particle
to choose
For example
, when a child choose
Change the verb form
chooses
independetly
, usually later Correct your spelling
independently
the
at school could Correct article usage
apply
has
some trouble with others because he/she Change the verb form
have
is not use
to Change the verb form
is not used
is not using
consider
the other options.
Wrong verb form
considering
On the other hand
, there are other people
who say // others claim that let
them free to make Wrong verb form
letting
choice
, as long as it is a
one Change the article
apply
on
their own interest is a positive thing. What these Change preposition
in
people
particularly argue is that children
have to ponder they
Correct pronoun usage
their
choice
in order to select the right thing for them. Fix the agreement mistake
choices
For instance
, when a girl of 6 go
to the toy store with her mum, usually ask Change the verb form
goes
to
her for everything, but if the mother Change preposition
apply
ask
Change the verb form
asks
to
her to Change preposition
apply
choice
Replace the word
choose
from
two items, she Change preposition
between
have
to make a Change the verb form
has
choice
that it
will define her happiness or not. Once back at home, Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
baby girl can understand if she choosen
the right or the wrong toy for her, Correct your spelling
chooses
then
she can learn a lesson.
In conclusion, many people
think that children
have to learn how to make a choice
in order to be a good person into
society. In my Change preposition
in
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
children
need to learn how to make a good choice
and also
when it is time to no
make a Correct your spelling
not
choice
.Submitted by bucciarellianna3 on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more relevant and specific examples to support both viewpoints. This will enhance the essay's persuasiveness and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Work on refining your ideas to ensure they are clear and comprehensive. This might include rephrasing and expanding certain sentences to make your point clearer.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure of the essay by using more connecting words and phrases to enhance readability and make the flow of ideas smoother.
coherence cohesion
Review your essay for small grammatical errors and issues with word choice to improve the overall coherence and presentation of your writing.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion in the conclusion, fulfilling the essay prompt requirements.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly present, giving the essay a complete structure.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically organized with two distinct viewpoints discussed in separate paragraphs, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.