Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There are different opinions about how
children
can be good members
of society
. Some people, including me
believe that Add the comma(s)
me,
children
should be taught by their parents
how to function as useful members
of society
, whereas
others think school
(educational institution) is the best place where they should learn them from.
Given the essential role of parents
, advocates argue that fathers and mothers should teach their children
how to be valuable members
of society
. This
mean
, they have far-reaching Change the verb form
means
implication
in the development of their Fix the agreement mistake
implications
children
’s social skills. Children
are gullible and under the sole custody of parents
, so they imitate their parent’s Correct pronoun usage
their parents
behavior
and imbibe their qualities into them in almost all aspects of their early life. Change the spelling
behaviour
Thus
, if all family members
demonstrate how much to
being good Change preposition
apply
members
of society
cares for them, and also
take action relates
to Wrong verb form
related
this
issue, such
as , not only encourages
Wrong verb form
encouraging
children
to being
useful Change the verb form
be
of
Change preposition
to
society
, but also
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
could cultivate
a sense of responsibility in them.
Wrong verb form
cultivating
For example
, a study in Britain showed that children
are two times more influenced by their parents
than their teachers.
For example
, on the dining table
Add a comma
table,
parents
should tell their kids to eat quietly and not make unnecessary noises which can develop into a good habit.
Opponents, however
, put forward that while
being good
member of Add an article
a good
society
is important
Correct article usage
an important
issues
, it is Fix the agreement mistake
issue
task
of Add an article
the task
a task
school
that should educate to Fix the agreement mistake
schools
children
. They believe that school
should take responsibility for teaching, Fix the agreement mistake
schools
such
as honesty, resiliency, hard
Correct word choice
and hard
- working
as Wrong verb form
work
children
spent
most of their time in Wrong verb form
spend
school
. They learn how to work and live with people from a wider society
with various background
. Dealing with others teaches them how to cooperate with each other and Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
finally
gain social competencies and experience such
behavior
in Change the spelling
behaviour
the
entire life.
Change the word
their
For instance
, after receiving lessons in civic education at school
, many Vietnamese students are more willing to help their neighbors
and even strangers, and they feel extremely happy after doing something good for others. Change the spelling
neighbours
For
this
reason, I believe that school
lessons are more influential to young children
.
In conclusion, although
parents
and schools, in Fix the agreement mistake
turn
turns
, have a responsibility to teach Fix the agreement mistake
turn
children
to be useful members
of society
, I would argue that fathers and mothers have more
valuable Add an article
a more
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
role
because their Fix the agreement mistake
roles
behavior
reflects their upbringing.Change the spelling
behaviour
Submitted by hongminh317 on
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coherence
To achieve higher scores, focus on presenting ideas in a clearer and more systematic manner. Introduce each argument concisely, elaborate on it, and then link it back to the main topic seamlessly.
task achievement
Provide more specific and advanced examples to support your arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and provide a stronger task response.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a single main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph contribute directly to this idea. Avoid extraneous information or overly complex sentence structures.
task response
The essay presents both viewpoints clearly and provides a balanced approach, which is a strong aspect of the task response.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear starting point and a thoughtful end to the discussion.
relevant specific examples
There are good attempts at providing examples to illustrate points, such as the study in Britain and the example of Vietnamese students.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.